Geek Love: Edward's Story
by Forestrosesprite
Summary: Sequel to Geek Love. A socially awkward Edward has to deal with his long time best friend falling in love. He soon discovers that girls aren't the horrible things that he's been afraid of for so long. ExB. Edward Pov. AH.
1. Chapter 1

**POV:**Edward

**Summary:** A socially awkward Edward has to deal with his long time best friend falling in love. He soon discovers that girls aren't the horrible things that he's been afraid of for so long.

**Author's note:** This story is a sequel to my story Geek Love, which is written from Bella's point of view. These two stories happen simultaneously. I would suggest that you read it first, but it is not necessary. If you impatient for an ending, however then you can read Bella's side of the story which was meant t be read fist.

**Disclaimer:** I own none of the Twilight characters. If I did I wouldn't share.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Girls had always been crawling over each other to get to me. Since I turned fifteen I had felt a bit like a piece of meat that two dogs were fighting over. I hated it.

Jasper had always informed me that any straight man would love of all the attention that I got from females, but I just flat out hated it.

Girls were attacked to my looks. It was the same way for Jasper. We were attractive and therefore we were wanted. But the problem was, once any girl even took the time to get to know me, she didn't care. They seemed to want to talk about clothes and shoes, about what some stupid movie actor that apparently everybody was in love with was filming next. They wanted to hear how pretty they were and how they were special. They weren't special. Most of these girls had never picked up a book without the threat of a bad grade if they didn't. They went and saw movies for whoever was in them, not for the plot.

I knew that there were other kinds of girls out there. I knew that not every girl was shallow and self-centered, but it never seemed to be any of the ones who talked to me.

In high school, if a girl wanted to talk to me I would humor her. I'd talk to her about books that she had never heard of, much less read. I'd talk to her about music, the good kind, not the crap that was played on most radio stations and considered cool. I'd talk about school. I liked school. I liked learning. I liked being smart. These kinds of conversations would always send them running away screaming.

I always hoped that they would be different, but they never were. It was always the same old story. Then there were the ones who never bothered to talk to me, but were just obsessed from a distance.

I had my fair share of female stalkers back in high school. I told them all nicely that I wasn't interested and a few managed to back away, but there was always one or two that clung to some ridiculous fantasy involving me.

I had begun to just ignore them. It worked the best. I wasn't very social anyway, so ignoring them and being rude when they were persistent was easiest. Sure, sometimes it made me feel like a bad person, but they were wasting my time as well as their own. Why not squish the dreams early so we could both move on with our lives?

Now that I was in college I still had to deal with them. The first day of classes was always the worst. There was always one in each class that had to parade herself in front of me. I was concerned that these girls actually thought that low neck lined sweaters were an appropriate way to get a guy to like them. I may have been rude to them, but all of these girls deserved better than some guy who judged them on the contents of their t-shirts.

I spent the first hours of my day in the music building. I didn't need any of the music classes, but the piano teacher let me hang around and play on the grand piano in the mornings. It was better than the old hunk of junk upright that I had gotten for school. Uprights never had good sound.

Girls in the elementary piano class always found some excuse or another to walk past me, always flashing a smile. Part of me knew that I should smile back, just to try being nice for once, but I hated to encourage them. Jasper said that if I ever let myself get close to one of them then maybe I might find someone that I like. I always pointed out that he had never had a girlfriend either so he had no business giving me relationship advice.

The history classroom was empty when I got there. Part of me wished that it would stay that way. I could just sit here by myself and for the rest of the day. I'd like that. No people sounded nice.

I pulled my disintegrated copy of "The Wastelands" out of my backpack. If I read the book one more time it was going to fall apart on me.

I paid no attention as the door to the classroom opened and closed a few times. What interest did I have in my classmates?

Someone sat down next to me, which was odd. You didn't sit next to people when there were other seats to choose from. I didn't care, but it was strange when people went against the social norm. I could tell just by the motion that the person who sat next to me was a girl.

My insides seized up. Another one to deal with. Another dream to crush, or whatever. I really didn't enjoy all of this. Maybe she would leave me alone.

I heard her sigh softly to herself, but I didn't look up. She tapped her pencil on the side of her desk, keeping in perfect rhythm with the ticking of the clock on the wall.

The tapping stopped and her pencil fell to the open sheet of binder paper. I could feel her gaze on the side of my face. I was used to this, and did my best to ignore it, but it wasn't long before my instincts kicked in and I looked back.

She had pale delicate skin that was almost as white as mine. Her pale complexion was made even more pronounced by the long wavy brown hair that she half hid her face in and the dark chocolate colored eyes.

When those brown eyes registered that I was looking back at her, that delicate skin of hers went up in flames. Her whole face turned red so quickly I was momentarily concerned for the girl's health. She ripped her eyes away from mine and stared pointedly at the opposite wall.

Strange, that was not the reaction that I usually got from females. If I caught them looking they would either look away then look back and smile or they would just smile and start talking. This girl blushed, rather violently. I had given this girl no reason to blush and yet she had turned redder than a fire truck when I looked at her.

She spent the rest of the class desperately trying to not look at me again. Her behavior was very strange and I found it almost impossible to not focus my attention on her.

Throughout the rest of the day that girls face followed me. Her reactions were so atypical of what I was used to. I guessed that the fact that this was new and unfamiliar to me was the reason that she seemed to have taken over my thoughts. I had never focus on any other female before in my life, what was so special about this one? Probably nothing.

That evening Jasper did notice my preoccupation. I explained the situation to him and all Jasper said was, "that means she likes you."

"Very helpful," I said sardonically. "I could have figured that one out on my own."

"You should be used to this by now." Jasper was right, I should be, and I was. But this one had caught me off guard.

"Most of the girls that I deal with have more confidence," I pointed out. "They immediately want to talk to me and expect me to ask them out instantaneously. I'm not used to blushing."

Jasper snorted. "You've just never noticed it before. She's just another girl. Don't tell me that after all of these years of fighting them off you are finally going to let one of them get to you."

I glared at Jasper. Of course I wasn't.

********

"Partners will be, these two rows, these two rows," the teacher laid a palm down on my desk, "and these two rows. Every day I will give you an assignment like this," She handed me a stack of half sheets of paper with questions on them. I took the top one and handed the rest back. "Everyday you and your partner will answer four questions on the previous nights reading. These questions will come up again in the lectures. These quizzes are worth twenty percent of your grade so I suggest that you work together. Normally I would only give you ten minuets, but today I'll give you an extra five to get to know each other. Get to it!"

I started to flip through the pages of my textbook to find the beginning of the first chapter. I could feel the girl from the day before looking at me. I didn't look back.

"I'm Bella," she said. I could hear her attempt to keep her voice even, but it shook nonetheless.

I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. Her face wasn't red yet, but seemed much pinker than it probably was naturally.

"Edward," I responded blandly.

She looked at little upset by my indifference. A worried look crossed her eyes and she chewed on her bottom lip in thought.

"Did you read the chapter?" I asked with a sigh. Most partners that I had ever had never did the reading. I was always stuck with someone who made me do all the work.

"Yes," she said indignantly, her eyebrows knitted together. "Do I look like I didn't?" she snapped at me.

I almost laughed. One minuet she's timid and shy then the next she's telling me off. I've never met a girl, other than Rose, who would stand up to me like that when I said something rude. She just didn't have normal reactions.

"Sorry." I continued my attempt to find the right page. "I'm used to always being stuck with people who do nothing."

Bella's scowl eased away. She knew the feeling. "Well, I'd be happy to do my part if you let me _look at the questions_."

I handed her the sheet of paper and went back to the book.

"Do you want to split them up or work together?" I asked. This girl was fast becoming too interesting. I needed to find a way to get away from her otherwise I would end up thinking about her for the rest of the day again.

"I think the idea was for us to work together," she spoke through her teeth. I was getting on her nerves. Well, that was something.

"Fine. Do you want to write, or shall I?"

"You probably should," she shrugged. "I have the handwriting of a six year old boy."

I couldn't help but laugh at that one. She glared slightly. I didn't understand why, she was the one who had made the joke after all.

I paused, getting ready to write the first answer. Before I could write one sentence Bella answered the whole question without so much as a glance at her textbook that lay firmly shut on her desk. I had to admit, I was impressed. I doubted that Jasper could have come up with that answer so fast.

We finished early and she made an attempt to talk to me. I didn't want to talk. Talking invites them in. I didn't want to invite Bella in, I thought. Bella seemed a little too smart and a little too shy, like it was all some sort of plan or something. She had gotten my attention, which was, in my opinion, a bad thing. I didn't want to spend my days pondering what was going on in this girls mind when most girls were so easy to read. I came to the conclusion that she must have been the same as all the other girls; I just wasn't seeing it yet.

At the end of class she swung her bag over her shoulder and smiled at me. "See you next time," she said cheerfully.

Her smile caught me off guard. How could you smile at someone who had been so dismissive to you for the last hour?

I waved at her without a word. _Weird girl._

_

* * *

_**Yay, I finally got this up. Sorry it took me so long but I am currently working on about eight stories at once. So, like Bella's version the fisr couple of chapters are a little haphazardly thrown up there, but it gets more sensical as the story movies forward. This story is a closer look into the inticacies of Edward's personality and (hopefully) will explain why he acts so weird for the first half of the story. **

**Thanks for reading! :)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own this.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

For the next two weeks Bella seemed to be everywhere. I always managed to get to school at the same time as her and I did my best to park as far away from her and that battered old truck that she drove around.

The more I saw her the more I thought about her. After weeks of my indifference, Bella didn't seem to be deterred. She still talked to me everyday, whether or not I wanted her to. She always greeted me with a smile and always said goodbye with a wave. It was so strange. Most girls would have given up by now.

I learned that Bella was very smart. Even though she wasn't a History major, the girl knew her stuff. She as always reading something, which intrigued me. It as rare that I saw girls carrying books around with them to class. Bella seemed to never go anywhere without a book shoved into her backpack.

It annoyed me how much I thought about her. I was sure that sooner or later she was going to become one of those girls whom I hated so much and then I would hate myself for ever even thinking about her. I hated Bella because I wanted her to be different. Of all the girls that had ever vied for my attention, Bella was the first one that I ever really wanted to talk to, but I was too afraid that she would be the same.

At times it felt like I was following her, I saw her so often. My subconscious seemed to seek her out. I felt this pulling need to be around her, to watch her. Like I was waiting for the moment when I could prove that she was just a normal girl.

One morning I saw her walking by my classroom. Instead of staying on the path, Bella took a shortcut across a gravel path that merely cut off the corner that she would have had to take had she stayed on the asphalt. I couldn't help but smile as I watched her wobble unsteadily on the rocky surface that she had chosen to walk across. The next time I saw her in the same place she chose to stay on the path.

I had also seen her in the library before our class. She would come in for a half an hour to read her book and get out of the rain. Sometimes she would even just walk up and down the rows of books, usually in the poetry section. Once I had seen her pull out an old leather bound book and raise it to her face. I thought I was the only person who liked the smell of old books. Apparently not.

This obsession was becoming very time consuming and I was going to have to put a stop to it sooner or later. This just wasn't like me.

One morning I had started out just like any other morning. I did my best to park away from where Bella usually stopped her truck and began my walk to class. Behind me I heard clopping on the pavement as if someone was running. Bella rushed past me in a blur. I think I knew that she was going to fall before she did.

My hands snapped out and I grabbed her around the waist before she hit the ground. I helped her back up to her feet, my mind reeling with the fact that I had just touched her.

Bella brushed herself off and turned to face me. It was not until she realized who I was that her face turned that shade of red again. It was like she was more embarrassed just because it was me there.

"Thanks Edward," she mumbled into her chest, keeping her eyes trained at the sidewalk.

I shrugged. "You were falling." I tried my best to convince myself that I was not affected by the fact that I had touched her even though my whole body was humming.

Bella tugged on her shirt nervously. "It wouldn't be the first time," she shrugged. She let out a high-pitched giggle and then blushed again, chewing in her lip.

I tried not to pay attention to the way she was torturing her bottom lip with her teeth. For some strange reason I found the action very distracting. I searched for something to say. "You fall down often?" I sounded like my dad.

Bella proved that it was possible to turn multiple shades of red. "Yes."

"It might be an inner ear problem." That could cause bad balance, couldn't it? I was trying to seem only mildly interested on her. I didn't want her around. If I pretended that I didn't care then maybe she would leave.

Bella looked confused. "Thanks?"

I shrugged. It seemed to be my go to action for being indifferent. "Either that or you need to pay more attention to where you are walking."

I began to walk off, hoping that she wouldn't follow me. She did. I did my best to pay attention to only the path. I had to keep this girl away from me and she just kept coming closer and closer. My hands were tingling from the feeling of touching her. I had had my hands on her delicate curves. I had never really touched a girl before that moment. She was softer than I had expected, more delicate. Part of me was afraid that if I grabbed her too hard then she would break.

"I'll see you in class," Bella smiled at me.

I jumped, startled. I had forgotten that she was walking with me. I gave her a half smile and a wave. I hurriedly turned away from her to walk to my classroom. I was upset that I had been so caught up in the way Bella looked and felt. I'm sure that she felt like most girls. What was the big deal? Why couldn't just see that I wasn't interested and leave me alone?

* * *

**Oh Edward, you are so silly. Sorry that it's kind of short. The next chapter is looong so I will make it up to you. I hope you have enjoyed our little adventure thus far. **

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay, I love this chapter!  
**

**Disclaimer:** Nope, nothing.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Bella had tried to thank me once more for helping her, but after that it appeared like she had given up. For a whole week Bella no longer forced conversation upon me. She would leave the classroom without so much as a wave in my direction. And I hated it.

I hated every moment that she was ignoring me. Usually I felt some kind of relief when a girl gave up, but now all I felt was disappointment. I should have known better. Bella was just like the other girls. She was as good as gone from my life now, and I shouldn't have cared.

Jasper had dragged me out. He said that I was being a pain in the ass and I needed to have some fun. He had been talking about this stupid Star Wars thing for weeks, I couldn't care less.

I loved Star Wars, no question. When Jasper and I were kids it was all we would talk about. But I saw no point in being dragged down to the movie theater to watch all three movies that we both owned copies of. I suggested that if he wanted to see them all that badly then we could watch them in the comfort of our own living room.

Jasper insisted that we go out. I think that Emmett's comments about how Jasper and I were like an old married couple were getting to him.

I decided that it would be easier to go quietly. At least it would be cool to see the movies on such a big screen.

Going to things like this always reminded me that at least there were guys who were even bigger geeks out there than I was. That was something of a comfort. I just hoped that when I was in my mid thirties Jasper and I still wouldn't be going to things like this as an excuse to get out of our mother's basements.

We settled in near the back and watched the rest of our kind fill up the theater. Jasper tried to get me to smile, but it wasn't working. I was still thinking about Bella. It had been a week without any word from her aside from the required talking that being partners created. I missed her. I was having trouble admitting the fact that I had enjoyed having her around me. Had I scared off the wrong girl?

No, she left on her own. That was her decision. Bella was just some girl, and I had to stop thinking about her.

"Do you remember when we were kids," Jasper asked, "and we used to play this all the time?"

"Yep," I agreed. "You were Luke, I was Han and Rose was Leia."

"You have to admit," Jasper smiled, "it worked rather perfectly."

That was back when Jasper had it planned that I was going to marry his sister. It was the only way that Jasper could see that the two of us could actually become brothers. Rose was a good friend, but she was so far from what I would date it was scary.

"Yeah," I laughed. "Maybe now we could get Emmett to play Chewbacca."

Jasper laughed with me this time. Rosalie had a habit of bringing home guys who were really bad for her. They either encouraged her vanity, saw her only for sex or treated her badly. Emmett had scared both Jasper and I when Rose introduced us, but the extra large football player was the best guy that Rose had ever brought home.

Emmett didn't let people treat Rose like an object just because she was pretty. He didn't take her crap, and he didn't do things just because she pouted at him. Emmett truly loved Rose and because of that Jasper and I couldn't like him any better. Emmett did give the two of us a bit of hard time considering we both lived together and neither of us had ever dated before, but playful teasing was just part of Emmett's personality.

I had seen the Star Wars movies so many times that watching them seemed to take only minuets. Long movies go by very quickly when you know every line, every action and even every mistake. The crowd of people did change the dynamic of the movie somewhat, but overall it was exactly the same as the other fifty times that I had seen it.

After the first movie Jasper left me alone in search of food. Much to my disappointment, my thoughts traveled back to Bella. I thought that maybe on Monday I would apologize for the way I had acted, but tell her it was better this way. Bella didn't want to hang around some dork like me. I didn't want to be around someone who didn't enjoy the same things that I did.

A poke in the shoulder brought me out of my thoughts. My head whipped around and I found myself face to face with Bella's smiling eyes.

"Hey Edward." She was smiling at me. Maybe she wasn't mad after all. Why was she here?

"Hi," I waved at her. That was stupid. She was a foot behind me, not on the other side of the theater. "What are you doing here?" My thoughts betrayed me and the question slipped out before I could stop it.

"Oh, I love Star Wars. I've been waiting for this thing for almost a month." I could hear the truth in her statement. She wasn't just putting this on because of me. The girl and I actually had something in common.

I smiled at her. This seemed to take her by surprise. Her eyes lit up fantastically and her cheeks darkened.

Bella's head snapped to the side and mine followed her. Jasper was walking up the aisle deep in conversation with what looked like some kind of sprite out of a fairly tale.

The girl was tiny with short-cropped black hair that splayed out in every direction. She had a cheeky face and was talking animatedly in a high-pitched voice. Jasper looked dazed. The only time I had ever seen Jasper look at a girl that way was when we met Summer Glau one year at Comic Con. I had thought that he was going to purpose right there in the convention center.

"Bella, this is Jasper," the slightly overdressed girl squeaked at Bella.

Jasper smiled and waved to Bella who smiled and waved back. Maybe waving at Bella wasn't as stupid as I had thought it was.

Jasper tossed a box of Red vines at me and I caught them out of the air.

"You two know each other," the black haired girl asked Bella, pointing back and forth between us.

"Yes," Bella shrugged casually. "Edward and I are partners in history class." The indifference in her voice made me a little upset. She made it sound like I was just someone who she happened to know, and in truth, I was.

Bella's friend seemed to think differently of Bella's reaction. Her eyes sparkled for a second before she turned to me. "Hi Edward, I'm Alice. Nice to meet you." She held her hand out to me and I was forced to take it. This tiny little girl was surprisingly frightening.

"Hello," I managed to say. I couldn't help but wonder what her sudden fascination with me was about.

This Alice sat down behind me and leaned forward in her chair so that she could talk to Jasper. Jasper didn't talk that much, but I could tell that he was entirely enthralled by this person. I casually leaned forward in my seat to give them as much space as possible without being to obvious.

I was also leaning forward in an attempt to distance myself from Bella. It had been bad when she had caught my attention. It had been worse that I actually thought about when she wasn't around. But now she had just disproved my theories, not only that she was upset with me, but that we had nothing in common. I needed to get away from this girl before she got any deeper into my head.

I wanted to turn around and talk to her myself. What would I say? Part of me wanted to ask her why she had kept away from me this week. Part of me wanted to explain myself. And part of me wanted to tell her that I had no interest in her and ask her if she could please go away. I didn't like the effect she was having on me.

I was startled when the lights came back on. I hadn't even really watched a second of the movie. I didn't care, it's not like I didn't know what happened.

Jasper nudged me with his shoulder and asked if it would be better if he sat next to Alice. I said that I didn't care. I had forgotten about my friend and the strange girl very quickly.

I heard Alice asking Bella if it was okay if Jasper sat back with them.

"Sure, I don't care." I could hear a little bit of regret in Bella's voice, but I could tell that she would do anything for her friend's happiness.

Alice's wind chime voice spoke again. "Why don't you sit with Edward? That way he isn't alone."

I felt my whole body stiffen. Bella glanced at me with a wary look. I knew what I wanted and what I should do. I gave her my indifferent shrug. Let her think that I didn't care one way or another. I sat next to her in class every day. How could a movie theater be any different?

"Okay," Bella said awkwardly. She smiled at her friend, but the smile did not reach her eyes. Her eyes almost looked a little angry. Bella stood up and headed toward the aisle.

"Where are you going?" Alice laughed.

"To the other side," Bella pointed. Her expression looked as though she was fighting not to add 'duh' to the end of that sentence.

"Just climb over," Alice said as Jasper climbed over next to her.

Did this Alice person know Bella at all? I barley knew Bella and I knew how clumsy she was. She had stumbled standing up.

"Okay." Bella seemed to agree with me.

She tried to climb over; I was already on my feet. She tumbled over the chair and straight into my chest. I caught her around the waist and reflexively pulled her tiny body even tighter into me. I marveled at how perfectly she fit against me.

I looked down into her eyes and immediately realized that I should not be holding her like this. I didn't want to give her ideas. I wanted her gone. Touching her made it worse. I instantly dropped my hands and stepped away from her.

I did my best to ignore Bella's blushing face and forced myself to believe that the look that had crossed her eyes when I had let got of her had been one of relief. I couldn't allow myself to think that she wanted me to touch her. I couldn't allow myself to think that I wanted to touch her.

It was just a chemical thing. A natural reaction that humans sometimes have. Maybe I could be okay with just being physically attracted to Bella. That could be explained and dealt with. People were always physically attracted to people that they didn't even like. It couldn't be helped. But I was not going to admit that any part of my mind enjoyed touching her.

I settled back into my seat without a word and Bella sat down next to me. I had been wrong about the difference between a classroom and a movie theater. For one, a movie theater was dark. And she was much, much closer than she usually was. I could smell her freesia shampoo and the faint smell of red licorice that hung around her as well. I balled my hands into fists, quieting my urge to reach out and touch her. I had held her twice now, and yet I had never felt that porcelain skin of hers. It looked soft.

I leaned away from her and did my best to focus on the movie and pretend that she wasn't there. I needed her to not be there.

Bella squeaked. It took me a moment to realize that she was responding to the movie. Of course, she was actually paying attention to what was going on. "Girls always love the Ewoks," I muttered to myself, rolling my eyes.

Bella punched me in the arm. The action was so casual and unexpected I couldn't stifle my laugh.

What was it about this girl that I found to compelling? At first glance I had just thought of her as some average girl, but the more I looked the more wrong I was. Her looks were understated but grew more beautiful upon closer inspection. Bella didn't wear makeup. The pale porcelain color of her skin was entirely her own. Because of this she had the sort of face that you could touch. The blush that painted her cheeks was always natural and something I found strangely alluring.

Her brown eyes were much more beautiful than I had originally given them credit for. Her eyes were so deep and expressive; they were the kind of eyes that one could find himself lost in for hours.

I think I found Bella's lips the most distracting. In the dark theater I could see them gently parted as she breathed quietly. Occasionally she would tensely chew on her bottom lip as if she was worried for the characters or whatever was going on in the movie.

Her eyes darted towards me and I darted mine back. Thankfully there was something for me to be looking at behind me.

The tiny Alice had fallen asleep with Jasper wrapped around her. He had a content smile on his face that I had never seen on my friend before. I had known Jasper for most of my life but had never known my friend to look quite this happy.

My eyes met Bella's as I looked forward again to the screen. I nodded back behind me, indicating what I hoped she would believe I had been looking at. I caught her expression as she took in our friends. She also looked pleased.

Alice had decided that the evening shouldn't end despite the fact that she seemed incredibly tired. We were dragged out into the night so Alice could fill up on sugar, an idea, judging by Bella's expression, that wasn't very smart.

I came to show Jasper my support, and I decided that it would be rude to leave Bella alone with the new couple. Bella and I ended up heading off towards the playground on our own. Bella had stumbled again and I had managed to grab her arm before she hit the ground. Her lack of coordination was crazy; there had been nothing to trip over.

Bella had sat herself down on an old merry go round and pushed herself around in a circle. I absentmindedly helped her. Part of me wanted to start a conversation, but being alone with her at night would bring up things that I didn't want to think about.

I kept my distance until Alice and Jasper returned, looking like a young newly married couple. I hoped for Jasper's sake that Alice was the right girl, but I didn't feel comfortable asking Bella about her friend's dating habits.

Bella shivered and pulled a jacket on over her t-shirt. I had seen this jacket before and had always found it oddly familiar. Looking closer at it I realized where I knew it from. "Forks High School?"

Bella looked confused for a moment before realizing I was talking about her jacket. "Yup," she nodded.

"You didn't go to Forks high school," I said, shaking my head. I didn't know a lot about Bella, but that was one thing I did know.

"No, I didn't," Bella agreed. She was quiet for a moment before turning to me. "Wait, how did you know that?"

"Because_ I_ went there," I said. How else would I have known? "Jasper and I grew up in Forks. My graduating class was under one hundred people, I think I would have noticed you."

It would have been hard not to. This silly little girl had wormed her way deep down into my brain. She seemed to be all I thought about anymore. If I had known her before I would have remembered her.

"My dad is the police chief," she said by way of explanation. Then she immediately looked like she regretted sharing this piece of information with me.

"Wait a minuet. You're Isabella Swan?" It shocked me that I had never put that together. I knew her last name. Bella, of course, was short for Isabella. How had I not figured that one out? Her name was a huge source of gossip for my entire town. You could never go a whole week in Forks without hearing something about this mystery girl.

"Uh huh." Her face was contorted in pain, but I was too shocked and surprised to notice it.

"Jasper," I shouted across the playground to where Alice and Jasper were sharing one swing. "This is Isabella _Swan_." My mom had always taught me that it was rude to point, but at that moment I could not help myself.

"No way," Jasper shouted back. I nodded to him.

I turned back to Bella. "I can't believe that I never met you before."

"I don't get out much when I'm there," she muttered.

"You get out sometimes. Otherwise you would miss your yearly visits with my dad in the emergency room." Dad was the only person in Forks who knew anything about Bella, of course he would never tell anybody anything that they hadn't already heard. Dad wasn't one to encourage gossip.

"Oh god." Bella covered her face with her hands. "Your father is Dr. Cullen." Yeah, she knew dad well.

I smiled. "Yeah, that's dad."

My parents were probably Forks' most respected citizens. Thinking about my mom and dad made me miss them and want to go home. That was the one thing I hated about school, not getting to be with my parents.

"Didn't you get hit by a car last summer?" I remembered one of Bella's more recent accidents.

"Oh god," she moaned again, covering her face with her hands again as if she could disappear into them.

"You did, I remember. Dad said that if the car hadn't hit a fire hydrant first then you would have been paralyzed. Instead you only got a couple of bruises." I had to tease her about this a little.

"Thank god for fire hydrants." Her words came out muffled by her hands.

I laughed. "Maybe I was wrong about you having an inner ear problem. You seem to attract accidents."

"You sound like my dad," she sighed, looking at me.

"You were right, you do need someone to follow you around and make sure you don't hurt yourself." Earlier she had tripped and had suggested that I stay with her at all times to make sure that she didn't hurt herself. Now it seemed like she actually needed some kind of bodyguard to protect her from the accidents that she caused.

She glared at me and the conversation ended there.

I thought through the night. Bella and I had been talking. Bella and I had things in common. It was obvious that I was physically attracted to this girl. What was I going to do?

I knew that it would end badly. Even if Bella and I did have a few things in common, she could never like a geek like me. I knew I was a freak. If Bella was willing to put up with that just because I was attractive, that made her shallow.

No, there was no way that I was going to let myself fall for this girl. For as far back as I can remember it was only girls in comic books and in TV shows or movies that I ever saw anything in. I had gotten this far without ever noticing a real girl, getting Bella out of my system should be easy.

I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye as she leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees, and sighed.

It was obvious that Bella and I were going to be around each other. If Alice and Jasper were dating, which by the looks of the way they were cuddled on the swing they were, I was going to be seeing Bella outside of class more often. I would have to devise some sort of plan in which she could be around me and understand that I had no interest in her.

Bella jumped when her phone beeped in her bag. She dug deep into the messenger bag, setting a dog-eared copy of The Princess Bride in the empty space between us. She even took a book with her to the movies.

Bella illuminated the LCD monitor on the front of her phone and grumbled. "Alice, it's midnight. Can we please go home?" she begged.

Alice huffed but stood up. Jaspers face fell as she moved away from him. For a moment I felt bad. I wanted to go home to, I could have taken Bella home first, but that would have put me in a situation where I would have been alone with her, which would have been the opposite of what I wanted, right?

Alice leaned over Jasper, "I'll see you tomorrow night."

They had plans together already, that was nice.

Jasper smiled at her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

I began to walk towards Jasper. "I'll see you on Monday," Bella said, stopping me in my tracks.

"See you in class," I agreed and gave her another brief wave.

Bella smiled and opened her phone, punching in the password for her voicemail as Alice walked towards her grumpily.

I stood over Jasper, who was looking off into the distance, his eyes dreamy and unfocused. I cleared my throat and Jasper looked at me.

"So," I said, "did you like her?"

Jasper smiled and reached out to swat at me, but I moved back to miss his blow.

"Did you see her, Edward? I mean—I didn't imagine her there, right?"

"No, she was really there," I confirmed. "All five feet of her."

"She's a dancer, like Rose." Jasper's eyes were glossed over. He was talking about Alice the same way he used to talk about his imaginary girlfriend back when we were 12. "She's so spunky, and sweet, and funny, and—and perfect."

"So, when is the wedding?" I couldn't help but ask. I had never heard my friend talk like this. Don't get me wrong, I was glad that he had finally met someone that he liked, but he had just met the girl and I was sure that he was already planning a life with her.

Jasper glared at me, but the smile did not leave his eyes. "So what about Bella?"

"What about her?" I asked, putting on my best indifferent voice.

"Don't be an ass," Jasper stood up to look me straight in the eye. "I know you. This girl has had some kind of effect on you. She's pretty, she seems nice, and she obviously likes you. Would the world really come crashing down if you let yourself have feelings for her?"

I gritted my teeth. "Yes." I walked away to the car in a huff, Jasper at my heels.

* * *

**Sigh. Edward gets so close to admitting his feelings and then he backpedals. Grr...he's frustrating. But the story wouldn't be any fun if he wasn't. Well, it may be fun it would just be shorter. **

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I still have nothing.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

"—but that's really all that's been going on around here. Same old same old." I smiled at my computer screen.

The small square image of my mother in the center of my computer gave me a disbelieving look. Although she never would admit it, it was hard for her to accept just how anti-social her only child was. I had seen the worry in her eyes months ago when I had told her that Rose had finally found a steady boyfriend, and in the last two weeks of Jasper dating Alice I had seen that same old worry back.

"That's nice, honey. It's good to hear that school is keeping you busy."

I could hear the rest of her thoughts in her voice. She was happy that school was keeping me busy but wished that I would go out and meet some new people, meet a girl, whatever. At times I even considered making up a friend or two for my mom's sake, but I could never lie to her, even if it was to make her stop worrying.

I tried to change the subject. "So how's dad? I haven't actually talked to him for a few weeks."

"Oh," she sighed. "He's been really busy lately. He always seems to be on call. In the last few weeks he has barley been home."

"Jeez, that sucks." My mom got pretty lonely without me in the house.

"It's alright," my mom smiled. "He's doing good work and he's hoping that after this he can take some time off work while you are here for spring break."

"Well, that's good." If my mother couldn't hear my unenthusiasticness in my voice I knew that she could see it in my face

I wanted to go home, I missed my parents, but spring break was always proof to me of just how boring I was. I loved to stay home and spend time with my parents, but I knew that I should be spending time with people my own age.

This year it was already set that Emmett was coming to meet Jasper and Rose's parents. I knew that meant that I was going to get a lot less time with either of my friends. I sighed. Well, maybe I could spend some time down at La Push with Seth and Jacob. They were always fun for a laugh.

"Spring break isn't that soon," I added as an afterthought.

"Well," my mother mused, "it's not like we get to see you every day. Your father and I look forward to you coming home. We miss you."

My mother's words made me sadder. She had wanted more children so badly. She had finally given up any hope just after I graduated from high school. My poor mother, all she had ever really wanted for herself was a big family with lots of kids that she could be running after, and I had taken that away from her. I felt like punching myself in the face.

"So," she smiled at me. I sensed a change in topic. "How are the girls treating you?"

I made a face. "Same as always," I muttered through my teeth.

Mom sighed. If she couldn't have any more kids the next best thing was grandkids, but I wasn't exactly helping with that either.

"That's a lie," Jasper shouted from the couch. I hear him get to his feet and rush over to the kitchen table before I could say goodbye to my mom. "That's a lie," he said again over my shoulder, looking down into the camera. "There's one girl who treats him very differently, Edward just wants nothing to do with her."

"Jasper," I hissed at my friend.

"What girl?" my mother asked, a bewildered look on her face.

"No one mom," I answered.

"_Isabella Swan_," Jasper said over me.

"Charlie's girl?" she asked. "She goes to school with you?"

"Yeah," I sighed, sensing my doom. "We have a class together and talk a little bit. She's a friend of Jasper's girlfriend."

"If it wasn't for her Alice I would have never met," Jasper said, more to me than to my mother. Jasper was very grateful for Bella's existence.

"Edward, why don't you like her?" My mother's voice was soft and gentle.

"I just—she just—I don't know." I stood up and walked away.

Jasper quickly took my seat and began to converse with my mother. "She talks to him, she doesn't go away because of his attitude, she's smart, they have stuff in common and she's pretty. Your son is just afraid of her."

"I am not afraid of her!" I shouted from the kitchen. I was glad I was away from both my mother and Jasper because my face was rivaling Bella's for how red it could turn.

Since the night Jasper met Alice Jasper had decided that I needed to share in his newfound happiness. He couldn't understand why I kept my distance from Bella. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't drop the subject.

Jasper was only able to come up with one solution: I was afraid of her. How could I be afraid of her? I talked to her every day. She was the one who got nervous around me. I was the one who teased her, it sounded much more like she was the one afraid of me.

I leaned against the kitchen counter as Jasper continued to talk to my mother. I knew that my mother partially blamed herself for the fact that I was so anti-social, but Jasper was doing a good job of just blaming me. He thought that I was some kind of old-fashioned stick in the mud. He made some kind of comment about the only way I would ask Bella out was with her father's permission that I could marry her. He made me sound like some character from and Austen novel.

"Edward," Jasper yelled for me. "Your mother would like to speak with you."

When I walked out of the kitchen Jasper had settled himself back onto the couch, his eyes glued to an episode of Firefly that I knew he had seen more times than I had. I sighed and settled myself back down in front of my laptop, my mother waiting for me.

"Edward," she said calmly, "darling, why are you so resistive to the idea of finding someone to love?"

We'd been over this so many times. "I'm not, mom. I just want to find the right person."

"You're afraid of getting hurt." Okay, that was new. She knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.

"Edward, do you like Isabella?"

"Bella," I automatically corrected her. "Her name is Bella."

"Edward?"

I didn't answer her. I didn't even know the answer to the question myself. I had tangled my own feelings around so much that I couldn't even recognize what they meant anymore. I didn't know if my aversion to Bella was now natural or, as Jasper said, I was afraid of being around her.

My mother sighed. "Alright Edward, you don't have to tell me anything that you are not comfortable talking to me about, but please promise me one thing."

"Anything mom."

"Promise me that if you do find some girl that you like, some girl that you can't stop thinking about, and if you really do think you could love her, promise me that you wont let that chance pass you by."

I sighed. My mom was asking a lot from me, but I had told her that I would promise her anything. My mother wanted me to be happy. "I promise."

"Good." She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "And one other thing. Be nice to Bella. I know that she may not be_ that_ girl, but you wont know until you give her a chance. And besides, at the very least this girl seems to want to be your friend. Try being friends with her and see if it may grow into more."

"Okay," I shrugged, not sure if I was going to take my mom's advice or not.

"Alright darling, I'll call you on Sunday."

"I love you mom."

"I love you to."

"Give my love to dad."

My mom smiled at me. "I'll have him call you as soon as he gets the chance."

"Bye."

I watched my mom lean forward and press something on her computer. The screen went blank and my mother was gone.

I sighed heavily and banged my head into the kitchen table. This whole situation with Bella was not going how I planned. And now my parents were involved in it as well. I now had to at least try to be friends with her to appease my mother. If I didn't do at least that I would feel extremely guilty.

"Hey," Jasper said from the couch. His eyes were glued to the screen. "I was going to ask Alice if she wanted to come over on Friday. You know, spend some time with my friends. Do you want me to ask her to bring Bella?"

I thought for a moment. "You're bringing Alice over here to play D&D?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"That question has far too many answers."

"She wants to learn."

"I highly doubt that." I had trouble imagining the tiny Alice having any urge to play Dungeons and Dragon with us.

"Let me rephrase that," Jaspers eye flicked from the TV to my direction. "Alice and I are in a relationship and she would like to learn more about my interests, no matter how strange or childish they may seem. Edward, I think this girl may love me."

I snapped my head around to look at my friend. "Do you love her?"

Jasper's eyes looked nervous and unsure, not about what he was saying, but about my reaction. "I think I might, Edward."

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. "Then I'm happy for you. I'm glad that Alice is so willing to look past your little idiosyncrasies."

"Bella is willing to look past yours."

I was quiet for a moment. "We don't know that for sure."

"You haven't really given her the chance to."

I fisted my hand, unsure if my next move was really going to doom me as much as I thought it would. "Fine, tell Alice to bring her. I promised my mom that I would at least try to be Bella's friend. I can do that. No more."

Before Jasper had a chance to respond I was up on my feet and out of the apartment.

* * *

**I missed Esme so much in the last one, part of my reasoning for writing this POV was so we could see her more. Edward is such a mommas boy, it makes me smile. **

**Thanks for reading! :)  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer**: I wish I owned Edward, but who doesn't?

This is it, the chapter that you've all been waiting for since chapter 5 of Bella's story. I finally did it.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Jasper had been chattering to his sister for the last twenty minuets. All he could talk about was Alice Alice Alice. She was excited to meet his new mystery girl and wanted to talk about the same thing, which left me over in the corner with Emmett.

Emmett mostly talked about sports. We had little to nothing in common. I'd half listen to Emmett talk about football for a while and he would sometimes listen to me talk about some book or another.

We could talk about soccer, but Emmett didn't think it was a real sport, while I thought it was the only sport. Soccer needed speed, strength, agility and intelligence to be played right. It wasn't just about running into other people and hoping they would drop the ball. There was a level of intelligence and forethought that went into soccer that Emmett couldn't seem to be able to grasp, which meant that our conversations were usually one-sided.

I heard a soft knock on the door. Rose begged Jasper to let her get the door; she wanted to look like as frightening as a concerned older sister should. I felt a moment of panic run through me and I made some excuse to Emmett about needing something from my room.

I managed to get my bedroom door closed the moment Rose opened the front door to Alice and Bella. I didn't know why I was panicking about seeing Bella. I had seen her that morning in class and I hadn't been worried about tonight. Of course, she hadn't even mentioned it to me, which made me think that she wasn't coming, but about an hour previous to their arrival Jasper had confirmed that she would indeed be here.

I fiddled with a few things in my room. For some strange reason I felt the unnecessary need to tidy. I stayed in my room before I decided that I was acting like an idiot. I had promised my mom that I would try to be friends, what was there to be nervous about?

I sucked in my breath and nonchalantly walked out into the living room just as Emmett was recounting how he had already known Bella.

"Wow, Bella. You really are famous." I chuckled.

It was amazing how little effort it took to make Bella's face change color. It was like I just flat out terrified the girl or something.

"Yup," her voice cracked. "Everybody seems to know who I am. Lucky me." Her voice was sarcastic. Bella didn't like all this attention. I didn't blame her.

"Well what are we doing standing around here," Emmett said. "Let's play."

"Yes!" Bella cheered triumphantly as she took the green card from Emmett.

We had quickly moved past D&D and were now on the much more user-friendly game of Apples to Apples. Alice had found the game a bit too hard for her taste so Rose, who had apparently known Alice before, took pity on her and decided that we should play something else.

Bella had actually done rather well for her first time. She asked a lot of questions, but after a while Bella really got the hand of how the game worked. I suspected that, given a few more times, Bella could actually be really good at Dungeons and Dragons.

Bella was also doing rather well at Apples to Apples. She added her card to her little pile and began to pass out new red cards to every one else.

"My turn," I sighed and pulled out a green card. "Primitive."

Five cards were dropped on the table and I turned them over, reading them aloud. "Amputations. Horseback riding. Hair transplants. Creamed corn. And Swiss cheese."

I was hit with an onslaught of reasons why each person's respective card was, of course, the right choice to win. Rose got me by stirring up old memories of our ninth grade math teacher.

After everyone grabbed replacement red cards Bella pulled a green card from the middle of the stack. She smiled to herself and then carefully enunciated, "Alluring."

I scanned my cards and knew I had a winner. I had recently caught Bella reading Robin McKinley's book Sunshine. When I had asked about it Bella had explained that it was probably the best vampire novel out there and by far her favorite book.

I dropped my card down on the table, knowing that I had already won.

Bella turned each card over and read the word. "Michael Jackson. Alice, ew. Tree huggers," she shook her head. "Hiccups?" she asked. Jasper shrugged at her. "Emmett, Bagpipes?"

"What? I'm Scottish. It reminds me of my heritage." Emmett puffed out his chest and tired to look pretentious, a look that Emmett had no hope of pulling off.

"It reminds me of someone trying to feed a live cat to a duck," Bella muttered. Rosalie snorted in agreement.

She looked down at the last card, my card. Without even reading it she tossed the green card to me. I couldn't help my chuckle and she blushed slightly, her eyes avoiding mine.

"I win," I said.

"What? What did he put?" Emmett reached across the table and yanked my card out of Bella's hands. "Vampires? Wow, Bella. I didn't think you were that kind of girl."

I momentarily wondered what 'that kind of girl' meant.

Bella smiled at Rose and sweetly said, "Rose, smack him for me."

"With pleasure." She thunked Emmett on the back of the head.

Emmett rubbed the back of his head, pouting at Rose. "Ow."

"Don't pretend like you don't deserve it."

Emmett glared at Bella. He couldn't be mad at Rose; he was wrapped around her finger. Bella triumphantly stuck her tongue back out at Emmett.

Bella and I began to clean up the cards and put them back into the box. Twice I had the instance where I could have easily brushed the back of her hand with mine, but I stopped myself.

"Alice, where did you find this girl?" Emmett pointed at Bella. "Do you two dance together as well?"

The image of Bella being a ballerina made me laugh. "Bella, dance? I don't think so. Bella is far too clumsy to be any kind of a dancer."

I continued to pack up the cards. I vaguely noticed that Bella was no loner helping me.

"Excuse me," I heard Bella mutter. Then the front door slammed shut.

I looked up from my cleaning. All of my friends were staring at me with shocked faces. "What's going on?" I asked, to dumb to figure it out on my own.

Rose looked at her younger brother. "Do you want to do it, or should I?"

Jasper shook his head, clearly exasperated by something. "Be my guest." He motioned towards me.

Before I even had a chance to do the addition Rose smacked the back of my head, hard. When she had hit Emmett it had been playful and cute. When she had hit me she was aiming to kill.

"What the hell?" I yelled, rubbing the back of my head.

"You idiotic, arrogant little bastard," Rose's voice was dangerous, her eyes promising violence. "How dare you say things like that to Bella?!"

Bella? This was about Bella? "I was just pointing out the truth. I say stuff like that to her all the time."

"Well," Rose's voice got dark, "she obviously doesn't like it."

"What's the problem, its true."

"That doesn't matter, Edward. What you said obviously hurt Bella's feelings. If you cared about someone other than yourself for five seconds you would have realized this."

"Jeez, I'm sorry." I put my hands up in front of myself defensively.

Rose waved her arms around fiercely. "Don't tell me that, tell Bella."

"But—"

"Don't 'but' me, mister. I like Bella a lot and if I have to choose between her and you I'm gonna choose the nice one." Rose reached out and grabbed me by the ear, dragging me towards the front door. "You are going to go out there, and you are going to apologize to her, on your knees if you must. And if I ever hear about you treating her like that again I swear to god I am going to _tell your mother_."

"Fine," I shook Rose off of me. I would have apologized anyway, but Rose knew that she could make me do anything by threatening to tell my mom.

I opened the front door. Before I was out all the way I saw Bella's jacket hanging over the back of a chair. I grabbed it for her and glanced back at my friends, all of whom were still staring at me. "I'm going."

Bella hadn't gotten too far. She was just at the bottom of the stairs, pacing back and forth in the parking lot. I was glad I had decided to bring her jacket, she had her arms wrapped around herself like she was shivering.

When she turned her face to me slightly she looked like she may have been crying. I felt a sharp stab of guilt. Not the kind that was going to go away by a simple apology either.

I watched Bella's lips tremble and realized that she was talking to herself very lowly. I couldn't make out her words so I instead decided that it was time for me to face my punishment. "Bella?"

She looked up at me, her eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. "Oh, hi. I'm just—," she whipped her head back and forth as if searching for a reasonable explanation as to why she was outside alone in the cold.

I walked down the steps to her and handed her jacket over. "It's kind of cold out here. "

"Thanks," she mumbled, pulling it up over her shoulders.

I took a deep breath. "Listen, Bella, I know at times I can be a little—" I couldn't think of the word I wanted, her obvious pain was distracting me. Instead of looking into her hurt eyes I found refuge by focusing on the asphalt.

"Tactless?" she suggested.

I smiled. "I guess. It's nicer than what Rose just called me anyway." I sat down, suddenly feeling incredibly nervous, and very very bad. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," she shrugged. "You didn't mean anything by it."

"I'm glad you realized that Bella, but I wasn't just apologizing for what I said just now. I was apologizing for the way I've treated you since we first met." The words slipped out, but I knew I meant them. I had to make things right between Bella and I, seeing as it looked like my friends liker her better than they liked me.

Bella looked into my eyes and for a moment I was lost. Her expression looked confused, hurt and shocked all at the same time. This made me feel worse. I looked away, knowing that I couldn't look at her without feeling like the bastard that I was.

"Anybody up there can tell you that I am not a people person." I shook my head. "I've never been very good at talking to other people. Rose and Jasper are just used to me out of habit. I don't realize it when I say something inappropriate. And I admit that I've been ruder to you than I have to most girls."

I couldn't believe that I was telling her this. Maybe this was my last effort. Maybe if she saw what a jerk to her I was she would finally know that she deserved better than me and run the other direction. Or maybe, just maybe, I needed to be honest with her more that I ever needed to be honest with anyone before in my life.

"Why?" Her voice sounded hurt. Great, I had made it worse.

"Girls are always trying to talk to me. I am aware that I am attractive. Girls always want my attention. They want to talk to me and flutter their eyelashes at me. It's nauseating. It never seems to stop. But what's worse is if I talk to them, if I give them a chance to get to know me—they just leave. They don't want to talk to the nerdy guy. They don't want to date the guy who plays Dungeons and Dragons and goes to Star Wars marathons. They have no interest in a guy that has gone to Comic Con down in LA every year since he was twelve. I got sick of it, so I just started blocking those people out."

As I said it I realized just how stupid I sounded. How in some ways I was actually worse than those girls. I was worse because I just expected them to be all the same.

"Then you came along. Smart, pretty. I hate to say it, but I figured that you were just like they were. I wanted you to be different, but I was afraid of you being the same. Every time you tried to get closer I would just put up another roadblock for you. You were willing to put with all of my crap just to get closer to me. And here you are. You are just to good to be true, you know that Bella?"

Bella looked stunned. My words were sinking into her brain. She was going to see what I jerk I was. She was going to walk away from me, disgusted. I honestly expected her to slap me.

"Bella," I tried to form my sentence correctly. "I now that it wouldn't make up for the way that I've treated you, but do you think that we could drop all the pretense and just agree to be friends?"

My mother wanted us to be friends. I could be friends with her, if she forgave me. It might be a while, but I would make her forgive me. I had never felt guiltier about the way I treated a person in my whole life.

Bella looked shocked for a moment, then disappointed, and the she sighed. She smiled at me and nodded. "I think I can handle that."

I couldn't help my smile. I hadn't expected that to go so well. "We'd better get back inside. It's going to start raining again any moment."

I walked Bella back up to the apartment. I held the door open for her like a proper gentleman, the way my mother had trained me. When I followed her in I caught sight of Rose standing off in the corner, her grin mischievous.

"Hey you guys." My attention was drawn to Emmett who was sitting on the floor next to the coffee table. "Get your butts over here."

"What are we doing now?" Bella asked as she sat down next to him. I sat down carefully on her other side.

I looked at the table. I already knew. I got a very bad feeling.

Emmett waved a bottle of some cheap drugstore brand alcohol in Bella's face. "We're playing 'I Never.'"

This wasn't good at all. Rose walked past me to take a seat next to Emmett but I caught her, grabbing her arm and pulling her down so I could talk to her.

"What's going on?" I whispered.

"Nothing," Rose shrugged. "We just thought that we would have a little fun."

"Does alcohol have to be involved for you to call something fun?"

"No. I just thought that it might help to loosen Bella up a little bit, maybe help her forget that previous embarrassment. And who knows, maybe you could loosen up a bit too, and maybe that stick might slide out of your ass." She pulled away from me and went to sit down next to Emmett. Well, she was still mad at me.

Jasper sat down next to me. "Did you apologize?" he asked me lowly.

"Yeah, not just for tonight, but for everything."

Jasper smiled. "Good job," he sounded like he was congratulation a kindergartener on a minor scholastic achievement. He patted me on the back. "I'm really proud of you."

I knocked his arm off my shoulder, but Jasper's smile was contagious so it was impossible for me to be in a bad mood with him.

Emmett handed me a glass with an inch of amber fluid in the bottom. "This is going to end badly," I mused.

"It might," Jasper said, regarding his own glass with minor amusement. "But at least it will be fun."

"Okay, I'll start and we'll go clockwise from me," Emmett said. He raised his glass in the air in front of him and declared, "I have never had a sexual fantasy set in a library or bookstore."

I scowled at him, he wasn't staring out with the easy stuff. I tipped back the glass, the liquor burning in my throat. I was right, it was the drugstore stuff designed to be cheap and get you drunk fast.

Bella set her glass down on the table to be refilled, a look of disgust on her face. "That stuff tastes weird," she commented.

"You're not supposed to taste it," Emmett smirked at her as he filled up her glass. "Just swallow." He nudged her glass back towards her. "It's your turn."

Bella looked embarrassed for a moment while she searched for something to say. "Umm, okay, I've never been out of the country."

Rose, Jasper, Alice and I drank. Emmett gave Bella a high-five. It was my turn.

I rolled my eyes. "I don't know. I have never told anyone that I liked them."

"Figures," Rose snorted over her glass. "Do you like anyone, Edward? I mean, at all?"

"Ha ha," I sneered at her.

We had gone around the table a few times before I noticed my head getting a little fuzzy. I hadn't even begun to notice the change in Bella yet.

"I have never held hands with a girl," I admitted. I realized just how lame that was. I must have been a little buzzed.

"Oh darn," Bella said with a grin on her face. "I've done that one to."

Bella hadn't been drinking a lot. She hadn't really done that much, much like myself. But she seemed drunker than everyone else.

When it came around to her again Bella happily proclaimed that she had never been in a relationship. I say happy because she had gotten everyone to drink but me.

This came as something of a surprise to me. I had to admit now that Bella was a very beautiful girl. Mixed with her kindness and her intelligence it was a surprise that no guy had ever caught her. When questioned by Emmett she just shrugged and lazily said, "I'm just lookin' for somethin' specific."

As the game wore on Bella became a little goofy. She smiled at me, and when I asked her why she just laughed. "Edward, we're friends now," she said. "I can smile at my friends if I want to. I don't need a reason. We're friends, aren't we?"

"Yeah Bella," I nodded. "We're friends."

"That's right." She turned away from me and swayed slightly. "We're buddies." She punctuated this by punching me in the arm.

I had to laugh at that one.

I learned a lot about Bella that night. Along with learning that she had never been in a relationship I also learned that Bella had never even been kissed. In high school she had had a crush, not only on Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter books. Bella made some giggly comment about semi-evil blond guys with British accents.

Bella continued to call me 'Buddy' throughout the night, always making her point by giving me a good-natured punch in the arm.

It took me a while before I realized that Emmett had been giving Bella about twice as much as everyone else, which probably had to do with why she had gotten drunker the fastest. I tried to put a stop to it, but the damage was done. Bella was taking drinks before anyone even said anything. I feared that it wouldn't be long before she passed out.

Just as I was getting ready to stop everything, Bella lay her head down on my shoulder. She smelled like freesia mixed with the scent of cheap liquor. The image that her scent juxtaposed in my mind was something along the lines of purity and sin and made me shudder.

"I don't feel so good," Bella muttered.

"Okay," I said, moving to stand up. "Bella and I are out."

There was a chorus of disappointed 'aww's,' one of which also happened to come from Bella.

I hauled her onto her feet and pulled her arm around my neck for stability. She still managed to trip over her own feet, luckily landing on the chair that I had been attempting to steer her towards.

"Stupid shoes," she muttered, kicking her Converse off under the table. I somehow doubted that it was the shoes fault, but I chose not to comment.

"Don't move," I said. "I'm going to get you a glass of water."

I ended up bringing out the whole jug of water, deciding to get as much into her as I could. She complained at first, but I managed to convince her that the water was also alcohol and she drank it right down. I made her eat a bit of bread as well, but she was less enthusiastic about it and I figured that her stomach probably wasn't doing too well, so I let it go.

Bella wanted to be back with everyone else. I helped her to her feet and got her onto the couch where she promptly lay her head down and closed her eyes.

The game went on for a little while longer, I only acting as an observer. Someone had to be responsible. Alice had managed to sneak her way entirely into Jasper's lap and the two were become much closer than was polite for company. Rose and Emmett were also getting that awkward look in their eyes.

Bella shifted behind me. "Edward," I heard her mutter softly.

I turned my head to look at her. "What Bella?" I was confused. Her eyes were closed tightly and she was smiling.

"Oh, just ignore her," Alice said. "She talks in her sleep all of the time. If your not careful you can get into conversations with her."

I smiled to myself. Bella talked in her sleep. Bella had said my name. Bella was dreaming about me. She was smiling and dreaming about me and I was important enough in that dream to cause her to say my name. For the first time I noticed my heart thudding in my chest.

She shifted again. "Edward," she exhaled. My heart flew.

I looked at her, then at Alice and Jasper who were becoming more and more entwined on the living room floor. "Okay," I said. "You two obviously aren't going anywhere tonight.

I stood up and scooped Bella up into my arms. She fell back limply and muttered something unintelligible. She was lighter than I expected and looked so soft. I decided just to let Bella have my room. I lay her down in the center of my bed and pulled the blankets up around her. Her smiled widened and she shifted to her side.

Standing there, watching Bella sleep, I realized something important. I was in love with Bella. I didn't just like her; I was in love with her. Bella had turned my whole world upside-down. She was the most beautiful girl that I had ever met. She was an angel. She was sweet. She was smart. What else had I ever been looking for?

My mother was right, I couldn't let this chance slip through my grasp. Bella was the girl that I could not stop thinking about. Bella was the girl that I wanted to be with. I had refused to admit it until that moment, but seeing Bella there, asleep in my bed after twice saying my name in her sleep, made me realize and accept the fact that I didn't want anyone but her, ever. No girl had ever challenged me the way she had. No girl had ever put up with my attitude the way she had. No girl had ever captivated me the way she had. I was in love with Bella and that's all there was to it.

I couldn't hold myself back any longer. I traced the soft white skin on the back of her hand with my fingertips. The barley skin-to-skin contact made my fingers spark. Then I realized how bad it was for me to be standing over this sleeping girl and I hurried out of the room.

Rose and Emmett were picking up to go back to Rose's apartment. I took away the keys to Rose's car, they were sober enough to walk the two blocks on a well-lit street.

Alice and Jasper were another problem. Alice kept kissing Jasper's neck rather passionately and Jasper kept trying to get his hands back on the nearly empty liquor bottle. I knew he only wanted it because he was a little nervous so I swiped it away from him before he could reach it.

When he complained I just looked at him and said, "Jasper, do you want to actually remember losing your virginity or not?"

Jasper turned very red. Alice, on the other hand, smiled at me and got to her feet. "Good point," she said. She hauled Jasper to his feet and pulled him towards his bedroom. Jasper followed, looking bewildered.

I did my best to put what had just passed between my best friend and his girlfriend out of my mind. I instead turned my thoughts to Bella. As I settled down on the couch I was proud and able to say that I had let some girl into my heart. Despite the usual embarrassment that this might normally cause someone of my age, I couldn't wait to call my mother to tell her that I was finally in love.

* * *

**So that was our big alcohol induced scene. Bella's kind of silly. I fear what I will be like the first time I get drunk. If I were Bella I probably would have told him that I loved him and then tried to molest him, but it wasn't me. **

**Edward's in lo-ove! Yay! It had to happen. And now we get to see just how awkward he is. It's pretty funny **

**Until next time..**

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: ***sigh*

* * *

**Chapter 6**

I managed to not have a headache when I woke up in the morning. That was a good sign at least. But I had a big problem.

I had now admitted to myself that I had fallen in love with Bella. The problem was, I didn't know how to be around a girl that I had feelings for. I knew how to be around girls that I was just friends with. I knew how to be around girls that liked me. But I had no idea of how I was going to react to being around Bella.

The most likely option was that I was suddenly going to become very nervous and awkward around her, I would come up with desperate ploys to spend time alone with her, and I would never admit to her how I felt. This wasn't great, as far as plans went.

I decided to do my best to build on my mom's original plan. I would be friends with Bella. I would convince her that I was a good person. I would spend time with her. I would make sure that we had fun together. And then maybe, if Bella would see how good of friends we were, then maybe something else would grow out of it.

Another problem presented itself. I had no idea how to become friends with someone. Jasper and I were just kids when we met. Kids around the same age just form natural bonds. Rose was only my friend because she tended to always be near where Jasper was. Emmett was my friend because of Rose. Even Seth and Jacob were really only my friends by association. So I didn't have a single friendship that I had made any preliminary efforts for. Swell.

My phone beeped and I received a text message from Rose telling me that she and Emmett had made it back to her apartment safely and were not lying dead in a ditch anywhere and asking if I was the one who stole her car keys. She couldn't remember.

I laughed softly to myself and returned my thoughts to my present problem. Bella was bound to wake up soon and I had no concept of how to handle the situation. She would no doubt be curious about what had happened the night before, how much would she remember on her own? I was sure that she would be embarrassed as well. Bella embarrassed so easily. What should I tell her if she asks? I wouldn't say anything about her saying my name in her sleep, that was for sure. I didn't want to give Bella a reason to avoid me. If there was anything she seemed to be embarrassed about I should treat it as nothing.

I had a sudden urge to call my mother and ask for help, or my father, or even Emmett at this point.

I started to clean. Cleaning was always what I did when I was nervous. Jasper thought that I had O.C.D., but most obsessive-compulsive people need things organized all of the time, not just when they feel exceptionally nervous.

I managed to clear away any evidence of the night before in twenty minuets. Well, that was something at least.

I heard a door open and close, making me jump. My heart thudded in my chest and I did my best to look busy.

"Good morning Edward," Alice said in a very chipper voice.

I un-tensed. "Morning Alice." I turned to smile at her and immediately wish that I hadn't. Alice was clad only in one of Jasper's t-shirts. Sure, it went to her knees, but I wasn't sure how appropriate it was for me to be looking at her when she was dressed like that.

Alice smiled at me and wrinkled her nose. "Edward?"

"Yes?" I responded, still a little stunned.

"Grow up." She walked back out of the kitchen, smiling to herself.

I watched from the doorway as Alice sauntered over to Jasper who had just come out of his room. She put a tiny hand around his neck and stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him. When she broke away Jasper looked down at her with adoring eyes.

"I love you," he said quietly.

"I love you to," she whispered back.

Alice walked past him. Jasper caught my eye and walked into the kitchen to lean against the counter. He didn't say anything, but his face looked dreamy. I could tell where his mind was.

"I have to admit," I said, "no matter how awkward that was to watch, it was pretty sweet."

Jasper's eyes snapped to mine. He stared at me intensely for a second, as if searching for something.

"What?" I couldn't comprehend why Jasper was looking at me like he had never seen a human before.

"Who are you and what have you done with Edward?"

I rolled my eyes. That joke was old and stupid. "What, I can't be happy for you?"

Jasper narrowed his eyes. "That's not it. You seem different." His eyes widened. "Bella."

"Don't," I hissed through my teeth, unsure of Alice's location and how good her hearing was.

"You finally admitted it?" Jasper looked triumphant.

"Will you keep your voice down?"

"Oh my god. You're in love with her." Jasper pointed at me, his mouth hanging open.

"Will you shut up?!" I hissed.

"You're in love with her," he repeated. The idea was rather astonishing, so I understood why he was having trouble grasping it. He looked torn between complete shock and pure happiness. it kind of looked like we has about to burst into song.

I grabbed Jasper by his shirtfront and pulled him to my eye level. "I swear if you tell anyone this, especially Alice, I will _castrate_ you."

Jasper's blue eyes widened in shock. He knew I was serious. "I'm not going to lie to Alice."

I released him. "Don't. Just don't tell her anything."

"What if she asks me if you have ever said anything about Bella? What if she asks about how you feel?"

"I never confirmed anything. If she asks, just say that I haven't said a word about having any romantic feelings about Bella. I haven't, so you wont be lying."

"Edward." Jasper's voice sounded unsure.

"Look, after Bella and I get married then you can tell Alice the truth."

Jasper's face split into a smile. Then he started to laugh. "When Bella and you get married? And you were teasing me!"

"Ugh, forget that I said that." Truthfully the words had just slipped out. That was the kind of slip up that I could not afford to have when Bella was around.

"Look, I don't like it, but I promise I will not revel your secret to Alice."

"Thanks," I mumbled.

"But you do understand that this means that any time I spend away from Alice will be time spent gloating?"

I sighed. "I had a feeling."

"Good," Jasper grinned at me. "Just so we are clear." He turned his back on me and left the kitchen in search of Alice.

I glanced at the clock on the microwave and noticed that it was almost ten-thirty. I wondered when Bella would wake up. I realized that she would be waking up in a strange place that she had never been before; her initial reaction was bound to be one of fear or shock.

I wondered if I should wait in the room for her to wake up so she wouldn't be worried. No, I shook my head, that would be even weirder.

I resolved that I would go in a leave Bella a glass of water and something for her head, just in case. I pulled a glass down and wondered if water was good enough. We had other things, milk, orange juice. Would she rather have that? Again I resolved to keep it simple and just leave her a glass of water.

I had meant to slip into the room and quietly slip out again, but when I opened the door Bella was sitting up in my bed with her hands in her face.

"Sleeping Beauty awakes." Woops! Didn't mean to call her that out loud.

She jerked her head up. Upon realizing that it was me standing in the doorway Bella traveled through many shades of red. She was so cute when she blushed.

"How are we doing this morning?" I hoped that my playful teasing was acceptable. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed.

"My head hurts," she muttered quietly.

"I thought it would." I handed her the aspirin and the glass of water. She looked grateful. I fought the urge to stand over her and forced myself to the other side of my room to sit awkwardly on my desk.

"How bad was I last night?" She was straightforward and to the point, even though she wasn't meeting my eyes.

I laughed softly. What to tell her? I decided to be vague but truthful. "You were pretty interesting."

Bella narrowed her eyes at me. I wasn't going to get away with a simple answer. "How bad?" she repeated.

"Well," I thought hard. Where to start? How much to tell her? What would embarrass her? "What was the last thing you remember?"

She thought about this for a moment. "I don't really remember much after you said that you've never held hands with a girl."

Oh, she _had_ to bring that up. I could feel my ears turning red. "That was pretty early on. You still had a ways to go."

"How did I drink so much?" Bella asked, her voice desperate. "I've never done anything!"

Could that be why she was embarrassed? Did she think that she might have admitted to something that I might not approve of or make me think badly of her? I knew in my heart that nothing could make me think badly of her, but she didn't know that.

"Yeah, I know," I rushed to tell her. "Emmett was kind of cheating. Saying things like 'I have never not had sex.' He was using a ton of double negatives to get you drunk."

Bella groaned into her hands. Maybe that wasn't the best thing to tell her.

"He was also giving you about twice as much as everybody else. I tried to stop it, but Emmett wasn't letting up. He actually got you to the point where you were taking shots before anybody had even said anything." Why did I keep talking?

Bella swore, rather colorfully. I was impressed.

"Did I throw up?" Bella asked with a cringe on her face.

What strange questions she asked. I knew that, had I been in her place, how I had gotten so drunk or had I gotten sick would not be on the top of my questions. Bella must have trusted me more that I thought she did.

"No. I got a couple of glasses of water in you before you passed out."

Bella momentarily seemed worried. "What about Alice?"

"She stayed to. Neither of you were in any shape to drive last night. She stayed with Jasper and I slept out on the couch." I hoped that Bella wouldn't ask for any details about Alice and Jasper because there was no way that I was going to have that kind of conversation with her. She could ask Alice.

Bella rubbed her temples, her look mutinous. "Remind me to kill Emmett if I ever see him again."

Here, it was. I had to reassure her that no one cared and that she shouldn't be embarrassed by anything that she had done. "Think of it this way, last night you made a few new friends, and now you never have to worry about embarrassing yourself in front of them." Hmm, that came out wrong.

"Thanks," she said sarcastically. "That's really what I needed to hear. Where's Alice? Is she still here?" she asked as she stood up.

I didn't want to think about Alice. That made me feel awkward. "Yeah, she and Jasper are out in the kitchen."

Bella walked past me without a second glance and marched right out into the living room.

Well, she didn't seem upset with me. I had been afraid that she may have thought I tried something, but that thought hadn't even seemed to cross her mind. She was still embarrassed though, which could mean that she might want to avoid me. I couldn't let that happen.

I stood up to straighten up the bed but got caught up in the impression her body had left in the sheets. I sat down in the place where she had lain and thought about the fact that a girl had been sleeping in my bed. That was new. For a moment I let my mind get away from me with the thought that it may not be the last time either.

"Edward." Bella's voice startled me out of my improbable fantasy. "I'm going to head home. I'm leaving you with an Alice infestation." Her face looked sympathetic. "Sorry."

I was on my feet in an instant. "Do you want me to drive you?" My voice was far too eager. Okay, I know that I didn't want her to stay away from me, but that seemed a little desperate.

"No." Bella backed out of the doorway. "I want to walk. It's not too far."

She waved goodbye and was out the door before I had a chance to respond. Yep, I had definitely scared her away.

* * *

**The awkwardness begins. He's too cute. I luvs him. Squee!**

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **Look, if I didn't own it yesterday what makes you think that I own it today???

* * *

**Chapter 7**

"Edward, I am so happy for you." My mother was squeaking with delight.

"Thanks mom." My voice was a combination of unenthusiastic and embarrassed. "Do you think that what lame excuse I have for a plan will work?"

She wrinkled her brow in thought. "It seems like a reasonable plan, darling. Build a good strong friendship with the girl and then, when you two have gotten close bring up your feelings. Bella needs to learn to trust you and she needs to meet the sweeter side of you, the side that doesn't tease or have mood swings."

"I tease my friends all the time."

"Well, just so long as it is in fun and she doesn't take it seriously I think you will be fine, but I would tread carefully for a while if I were you."

"Yeah, I know. I kind of screwed myself in the beginning and now it's time to make up for it."

"Yes it is," my mother nodded. "It's going to take some time, but eventually she will be able to be around you without fearing any kind of ill mannered treatment."

I sighed. "Woo hoo."

"That's the spirit," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

Jasper poked his head into my bedroom. "Going to Alice's. Bye."

"Bye."

"So Jasper and Alice are doing well I assume."

"Yeah, he's totally in love with her."

"What's Alice like?"

I thought about this question. "Tiny, smart, kind, pesky, mischievous and a little scary." I couldn't help but laugh. "I think that she would like me better if I warmed up to Bella."

"You can tell this?"

"She's not hard to read. She believes that she and Jasper were meant to be together. She seems to think the same for Bella and me."

"And what does Bella think?"

I sighed. "Bella is a hard person to read. One minuet I think she likes me, the next I think she hates me, the next I'm sure she's afraid of me, and then we go back to liking. And I mean liking in a platonic way. That's as far as I can tell with her."

"But you said she seemed interested?"

"At first, yeah. Back when I was being a total jerk. But recently she has become much more indifferent towards me. Except for when she's blushing."

"She blushes at you?" My mom smiled.

"Yeah, but that's when I think that she's afraid of me. Or when she's embarrassed by something. I've seen her do it to other people as well," I shrugged.

"Edward, I know I told you not to over-interpret when she does things, but don't disregard them completely."

"I know."

"Why don't you call her?"

"What?" My mother's suggestion filled me with some kind of fear.

"Call her, invite her over. If you are going to build a friendship with her then you need to spend time with her outside of class."

"Mom, I don't know if I can do that."

"What? Just call her. Ask her over to watch a movie or something. You wont even have to talk to her right away. Just don't expect all of your interactions with Bella to come through Jasper and Alice. You have to make the effort on your own."

I stared at the wood grain on my desk as I turned my mother's words over in my head. As much as I hated to admit the fact that my mom's plan really was the best option, I saw the sense in it.

"Fine. Give me a little while to work up the courage and I'll do it."

"Good boy." She smiled widely at me. "I have to go now. I love you."

"I love you to mom."

She turned off her computer. I lay my head down on my desk, having managed to convince myself that banging my head against the wood wouldn't help anything.

Jasper had been gone for almost two hours when he called me.

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know that Bella left."

"Why are you telling me this?" I couldn't help but ask.

"She went off on her own. She said that she was going to go downtown. You and I both know that nothing is open on Sunday. I just thought that maybe Bella would like some company."

"What are you suggesting, that I drive around until I spot her and then randomly pretend to bump into her?"

"No, that makes you sound like a stalker. I just thought that I would give you her whereabouts. What you do with that information has nothing to do with me. Oh, I gotta go, Alice is coming back. I don't like this," he reminded me as he hung up the phone.

I pondered the situation for some time while chewing on the antenna of my cell phone. I decided to call Bella and ask her over to watch a movie just as my mother had suggested. I even managed to come up with some little script in my head in order to keep it as causal as possible. After several times opening and closing my phone I managed to find Bella's number and hit send.

The phone rang several times before she picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey, Bella. It's Edward." That was stupid. Phones had caller I.D., she probably knew it was me.

"Hey Edward." Her voice sounded causal, like I called her everyday.

"What are you doing?" My voice managed to shake as I said this, but I doubt that Bella could hear it over the phone.

"I'm, um, walking around town. Jasper is over at our place and I thought that I should leave them alone."

"I thought as much," I laughed awkwardly. No need for her to know that Jasper had actually called me and told me where she was. "I wouldn't want to be around the love birds either. I thought that I would rescue you. Do you want to come over?"

"Come over?" Her voice sounded confused and a little worried.

I was suddenly afraid that I had called her too soon. "Yeah, isn't that what friends do? They hang out together." I reminded her that we were supposed to be friends. That was my entire reasoning.

"Oh, I guess I could." Her voice was noncommittal, as if she had other plans.

"I was just going to watch Willow." I hoped that she would react to that. If she liked the movie then maybe it would give her more encouragement to come over.

"Oh," was all she said.

"Willow," I repeated. "You've never seen Willow?"

"I can't say that I have."

"It's a George Lucas movie. He made it right after Star Wars. It's amazing!" I may have freaked out a tiny bit.

"I've never seen it. Although I assume by that violent outburst that I am really missing something." Just a tiny bit of freaking out.

I tried to explain. "It's starring Warwick Davis. He played Wicket." Of course she wouldn't really have known that unless she had seen the two Ewok movies.

"I know who Warwick Davis is," she snapped into the phone. "So what's it about? Is it anything like Star Wars?"

I had her interested. That gave me a tiny bit of confidence. "Are you coming over?"

"I'm walking to my truck," she said, almost reluctantly. "Now, what is it about?"

"It's a fantasy story with lots of magic and a baby in it. It's totally your thing." Of course I was just guessing.

"Why do you assume that I'll like it because a baby is in it?"

"Because you're a girl." I felt like slapping myself in the face. What possessed me to say that? That was a horrible generalization at best.

"What?" She sounded a little upset.

"It's the same with the Ewoks and other small animals. Women are programmed to like things with small symmetrical faces and big eyes. If women didn't love to look at babies then the babies would die." I sounded like an anthropologist, an anthropologist with no people skills whatsoever.

Bella was quiet for a moment before grumbling, "Fine." I heard her truck door slam. "I'll be there in fifteen minuets."

"See you then." I tried to contain my laugh at her attempt to be mad at me when she obviously wasn't

"Bye," she said lazily.

"Bye Bella." I have to admit; I got a kick out of saying her name.

* * *

**...**

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **No, I refuse!

* * *

**Chapter 8**

That first afternoon that Bella and I had spent together had been an awkward one. We didn't talk at all except for a few generalities. Bella managed to sit as physically far away from me as possible and refuse to even make eye contact with me the entire time. Before she left she mentioned something about maybe having a new favorite movie, but that was the most I got from her.

I was almost ready to give up completely when three nights later Bella called me asking me if I wanted to come over. Apparently Alice was coming to visit Jasper and Bella thought that she would extend the same courtesy to me as I had to her and give me a reason to be out of the house.

I had been ecstatic.

Bella and Alice's apartment was tiny compared to the one that Jasper and I shared. It was very neat, which I assumed Bella had something to do with because Alice didn't come off as a very organized person, except when it came to her closet.

I managed to sneak a look at Bella's bookshelf and was very impressed with what it contained. The girl needed to read some sci-fi, but all in all it was pretty good stuff she had.

The movie she had shown me, Time Bandits, was really cool in a way that made no sense at all. The movie was all fantasy and extremely surreal, but I had no idea what the director was trying to say. When I asked Bella about it she just shrugged and said, "It's a Terry Gilliam movie."

We progressed slightly. Every time we would see each other we would talk a little more, usually about movies or TV shows. I longed for more varied topics, but where we were was safe and I wasn't ready to rock the boat just yet.

Instead I learned about Bella through the movies we watched. Her reaction to little things told me more about her than any conversation we had ever had.

Bella liked to watch movies that she had loved as a child. These films would make her eyes dreamy and nostalgic. They were movies that were sometimes above the usual level for a child, which told me that she was sharp, even when she was young.

At one point Bella and I had gotten to talking about Tim Burton movies. I had argued that he had never made a really good movie. He had made many entertaining movies that were a large part of pop culture, but just because they were popular didn't make them meaningful or thought provoking. Bella proved me wrong.

When we had watched Big Fish I hadn't even believed that it was a Tim Burton movie. The stylistic differences proved that the man could do a good movie if he tried. Big Fish was one of Bella's favorites. I chuckled at the fact that the main character, played by Ewan McGregor with a strange American accent, was named Edward. Mine was not a name you heard a lot in today's world.

The most important thing that I learned about Bella, I learned by watching that movie. When the female love interest opened her windows to find the Edward character standing in a field of daffodils, Bella, who had seen the movie numerous times, gasped sharply. I glanced over to see Bella's eye filling with tears at the sight. Bella was a romantic. When I did tell Bella how I felt about her I would do something like that. Something that would say without words exactly how much she meant to me and exactly what lengths I was willing to go to me her love me as well.

Time passed and eventually plans had to be made for spring break. Alice, who I grew to like more and more with each passing day, had implanted the idea in Bella's head that she should come back to Forks with the Hales and me to visit her father. I almost jumped for joy when Bella asked if she could ride with me.

The addition of not only Bella, but Emmett and Alice to our usual group made transportation difficult. Emmett would be staying at the Hales because Rose had been dating since high school and it was no secret to her parents what she got up to. Alice, on the other hand, would be staying with Bella. Jasper wasn't ready for his mother to know how much her little boy had grown up just yet. It was decided that Alice might come off a bit better to the over protective mother if she stayed with Bella. This meant that it made more sense for Jasper and Alice to ride with Bella and I, something I was okay with but not excited about. When it was decided that Alice was going over the first night I may have implanted the idea that she and Jasper may as well go with Rose because in some strange way it made a tiny bit more sense.

So I ended up alone with Bella in my car and conversations weren't coming any easier. After an hour Bella started to ask me about books. Being caught off guard I only supplied her with general answers at first, but Bella managed to make me talk.

After that we talked about all sorts of things. We talked about our plans for the future and why we chose our majors. Bella told me about growing up on Phoenix and I told her about what it was like to grow up in Forks.

Bella had been lonely in school like me. But I had Jasper where it seemed like all Bella had ever had was her mother. Alice had been Bella's first girlfriend ever and I had been the first guy that Bella had spent any time with at all. It was good to know that, at least in one area, I had a tiny bit more experience than she did.

Near the end of the car ride Bella and I had moved on from our own personal histories to talk about music. While Bella agreed with me that there was close to nothing new out there that was really worth listening to she maintained that there was some good stuff if you knew where to look for it. She got so into telling me about this Australian comedy trio that she had discovered on YouTube that she didn't even notice right away when I pulled up to her father's house.

She got quiet when I turned off the car. She looked out of her window tensely, chewing on her bottom lip in that way that always made me feel dizzy. She almost looked a little sad.

I was sad to. We had finally begun to really talk and now our time was over. It was time for her to get out and we both knew it.

She glanced at me and I smiled at her. "Don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow." I said this more to reassure myself then to reassure her. I didn't even know if that's what she had been thinking about. I prayed that it was.

Bella's face un-tensed and she smiled back. She began to move out of the car. A moment later she looked upset again, as if something that she had thought about had disturbed her.

My parents had welcomed me home as if they hadn't seen me in years. My mother hugged me for so long that I eventually had to pry her off of me. The questioning from my mother started almost immediately.

She wanted to know everything about Bella that I could tell her. I was glad that, thanks to the long car ride, I had many things to tell. I could tell her that Bella's favorite color was purple, that her favorite book was The Princess Bride, that, aside from Arizona and Washington, the only other state she had ever been in was California. I told my mom about little things. The way Bella laughed, the way she blushed, the way she had been bouncing her knees in the car prior to our conversation.

Bella's clumsiness did not have to be restated, though I did mention an incident or two, which I had found particularly adorable. I did still feel very bad about they way I had treated Bella before. There was always some gnawing feeling of guilt in the back of my head whenever I thought about her. I wondered if she even thought about it anymore.

My mother listened to my chatter with rapt attention; my dad listened purely to show support.

My father had given me very little advice when it came to Bella. He told me the generic things, be honest, be yourself, try not to come on too strong, but past that he had been no help. I had always expected more from my father when it had came to this subject. I had expected that it would be something that we would bond over, but it seemed unlikely to happen.

On my first night back I managed to get some time alone. I sat in the center of my bed, staring at my cell phone. My fingers itched to call her. I longed to hear her voice again. What would I do or say? I had to give Bella her time with her father. She wouldn't want me calling her just to talk.

I jumped when the phone started buzzing on my quilt. I picked it up and for a moment my heart leapt in anticipation before I saw that it was Jasper calling me.

"What?" I said into the phone.

"Well, its nice to hear your voice as well."

"Sorry. I was just—"

"—hoping that I was Bella," Jasper finished.

I laughed. "How did you guess?"

"I know you. True, in the last month I have been pretty sure that you have been replaced by an alien."

"Bite me."

"Now, that sounded more like the Edward that we all know and love," Jasper said sarcastically into the phone.

"Is there a reason that you called me, or can you just not fall asleep anymore without hearing the sound of my voice?"

"Mom and dad are in the living room conferring about Alice and Emmett. Rose is trying to overhear them, but I could care less."

"Did it go well?" I asked with little interest.

"Sure. Alice was so nervous that she was shaking. Dad likes Emmett, though. He can finally have the son that he's always wanted."

Jaspers father was much more into sports and things that Jasper and I had failed to ever understand. Emmett would get along very well with Jasper's dad.

I heard Rose shout something in the background.

"What did she say?" I asked Jasper.

"She says that mom is finally getting the sweet little daughter that she always wanted." Jasper's voice was smug.

Rose was never a sweet little girl. Rose was what my mother called a firecracker. She had a lot of energy and when she wanted something Rose was going to stop at nothing to get it. Mrs. Hale was a much more benign woman and I think that Rose's outgoing and tenacious personality made her mother nervous.

"So it all went well then?"

Jasper gave me the basic run down of the night. His parents seemed to like Emmett and thought that Alice was a dear. All in all it had gone exactly as I had expected.

"So what are our plans for tomorrow?" Jasper asked me.

"Well, I have this idea."

* * *

**Finally! The spring break chapters are the one's I like the best. We finally got here. Yay.**

**FYI that band that I mentioned is called Tripod. They are this Australian comedy trio that are pretty much amazing. They have a ton of videos up on You Tube. I think that Ghost Ship may be one of my favorite songs.  
**

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I really don't think that anyone here believes that I am Stephenie Meyer. If I was I would be publishing Midnight Sun instead of being lame.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

My fingers drummed against metal. Jasper glanced over at me and snorted.

"Dude, calm down."

I sighed and shoved my hands into my pockets.

Within mere moments of our arrival at Bella's house Alice bounded out of the front door and was in Jasper's arms. Apparently these two couldn't handle much more than ten hours of being separated before they both went crazy.

I averted my eyes away from the embracing couple towards the front door just as Bella was locking it up behind herself.

Bella looked stunning. She was dressed in a dark crimson blouse that made her pale skin glow. The neckline of her top, while decent, was completely distracting. And her hair was pinned up in the back with Bella's natural curls casually falling out in random places. I realized that I was staring and forced myself to say something.

"I think that they are getting worse."

Bella smiled to herself and nodded by way of response. She toyed with the zipper of her jacket and chewed on her lower lip, making it red enough to match her shirt. That was another thing that I loved about Bella, even when she was dressed up like this there was no sign of makeup on her face. She just was who she was.

Bella gave me an awkward smile and I moved to open the passenger door for her, one of the many things that my mother had trained me to do. She blushed slightly, finishing of her look of utter perfection.

After I closed the door behind her I mentally slapped myself. There was no way I was going to be able to spend the rest of the day with Bella if I was so caught up in how she looked. Bella always looked pretty. That day she just looked— again the most appropriate word I could come up with was distracting.

I kept my eyes firmly on the road the whole way to Port Angeles. We all talked and Bella began to tap her fingers on her leg again. She must have really hated being in the car.

I managed to park right next to Rose's flashy convertible. There was no missing that car in a parking lot.

When we got out of the car and said our hellos I got a punch in the arm from Emmett.

"Damn, Bella looks hot."

I frowned. 'Hot' was too crude a word to describe how Bella looked. Stunning, beautiful, angelic, these were the words I would have used. Bella turned her head to glance at me and I directed my attention elsewhere, trying to keep my face natural.

"Dude," Emmet said quietly. "When are you going to get some of that?"

I looked at Emmett quizzically. I wasn't really sure what he had meant by that statement. "What do you mean?" I asked plainly.

"She's obviously into you." Emmett spoke to me as though I was a child that he was explaining a very difficult concept to. "You like her. What are you waiting for?"

I opened my mouth to deny everything. Emmett had a big mouth and I wasn't ready for Bella to know all yet. I meant to tell Emmett that he was wrong, but all that came out was, "The right moment."

Emmett shrugged. "Just as long as you do it."

I gave him a warning look. "Rose?"

Emmett shook his head. "I wont say a thing. I know how those women talk when they get together. Rose may love you like a brother, but she's got more loyalty to her own gender."

We both glanced at Rose who was talking to Bella with a smirk on her face. Bella looked exasperated.

"Don't worry bro," Emmett smacked me hard on the shoulder, knocking me forward. "I got your back."

I was not a big fan of clothing shopping. I was even less of a fan of girls clothing shopping. Luckily Jasper and Emmett were also subjected to my torture so we managed to have some fun. Fun, until both Jasper and Emmett seemed to decide that it was their responsibility to give me advice on how to deal with my Bella problem.

In the front of the third or fourth store that Rose had dragged us into there was a large display of women's shoes. I wandered over to the tower and examined what I believed to be some kind of archaic torture device. How did women wear those things?

"Those would look totally hot on you, Edward," Jasper informed me in his fake gay voice.

"Yeah," I agreed, "but they are really more your color."

Jasper narrowed his eyes at me. He had started it. He opened his mouth to retort but was cut off.

"I really think that they would go best on Emmett," Bella said from behind us, startling me.

Emmett glared at Bella.

"What?" she said picking up the death trap. "It's a good color on you. They would make your legs look totally hot, and with those few extra inches you just might catch up to Jasper's height."

Emmett turned red. Jasper and I couldn't stop laughing.

I put my plan into action after we had left that store. I managed to organize us so that Bella and I were in the back of our little herd. Bella didn't say anything and kept her eyes trained to the ground. I assumed this was some sort of preventative method for tripping. As if I would let her fall.

Just as we were about to round the corner I spied what I had been looking for. I slipped into the alcove and grabbed Bella's arm, tugging her in there with me. She stumbled slightly and I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist to prevent her from falling. At least, that was what I told myself.

Standing there in the dark with Bella's tiny frame fitted so perfectly against me was probably the one of the better moments of my life. For a brief moment I considered dropping all of my careful plans and kissing her right then and there.

Bella brought me out of my fantasy. "Um, hi?"

I smiled down at her. I'm sure that I must have startled her with my brash action, but I was too happy standing there with my arms around her to really care.

"I thought that maybe we could leave the couples to do their own thing for a while," I tried to explain. "Besides, there are a few places I thought that you would like to see that I'm guessing Rose and Alice have little to no interest in."

Bella exhaled loudly, shaking a bit as she did so. "Okay," her voice squeaked. "Sounds like fun."

I nudged her towards the light. Once back in the noon sun I realized that the way I had been holding Bella had been highly inappropriate. I immediately dropped my hands and yelled at myself. I had no right to touch her like that without her permission. It didn't matter how soft she was, or how nice she smelled or that she was—perfect. I had to remember my plan. Friends first.

I took her into this small eclectic music store that I always liked to visit when I was home. Bella seemed very interested in some of the classical music, which interested me. You didn't see a lot of girls today who sat around listening to Debussy.

There were a few girls in the store who kept trying to catch my eye. I smiled at them politely and hoped that they would leave me alone it took me a few moments to realize that, because I was with Bella, I wasn't using my usual warding device. Instead I would casually call attention to the fact that I was in the store with a girl. The most beautiful and perfect girl in the whole world.

"Does that happen so often that you have just learned to ignore it?" Bella as we left the store.

"What happened?" I asked, confused as to Bella's meaning. Had I done something stupid and not noticed it?

"All those girls," she said. "You can't tell me that you didn't notice? They were swarming around you like locus."

Bella seemed a little annoyed by the girls. She seemed more frustrated by the fact that they were giving me attention then the fact that I hadn't noticed. I decided to tell Bella a small lie that would hopefully make her see just how much she meant to me.

"I honestly didn't notice," I shrugged. "As far as I was aware, you were the only girl in the store."

Bella's eyes widened in shock. She stared at me for a brief moments as we continued to walk. She looked as though she didn't believe a word coming out of my mouth. I hoped that she did believe me. Bella was the only girl there for me. The others had just been generic. Bella was all that I saw anymore.

I suddenly felt a little nervous, mainly about Bella's lack of reaction to my declaration. I picked up my pace

"Where are we going to in such a hurry?" Bella asked.

"C'mon. You are totally going to love this."

I grabbed her hand and pulled her along with me. I had purposely done this. Holding Bella's hand in mine made my knees shake, making walking faster both a necessity and much more difficult. This was the first time I had ever held hands with a girl, and Bella knew it. I knew that this kind of thing was not a big deal. People platonically held hands all of the time. But it felt like a huge step to me, maybe because it was something that I had never done before. It was not nearly as intimate as it had been with her earlier in the dark alcove; it was not as inappropriate either.

I dragged Bella off to one of my favorite places in the whole world. When I was a teenager I had spent most of my summers lost in the back of Mr. Crandle's bookstore. And hour in that place only felt like ten minuets to me as I searched through stack after stack of books, not only to find things to read, but to unearth the priceless treasures that would occasionally trickle in.

I had seen Bella around books before. I knew how carefully she handled them. I knew that she loved the smell of aged paper. I loved the way her eyes lit up when she found something that fascinated her. I had hoped that by bringing her to this spot, my spot, that I could see that amazement, wonder and peace that filled her eyes when surrounded by books.

I had not been disappointed.

After I had released Bella into the store I followed her silently from a distance. I wanted to watch her fingers trace along the spines of the books as she read their titles. I wanted to see the flash in her eyes when she made the quick decision to pull out a book to examine.

In that moment I was more convinced than I had ever been that I was in love with this girl. In the diffused light of the bookstore Bella looked like some kind of goddess quietly moving through so ordinary a space. I wanted to tell her that, wondering if she would find my comparison romantic or creepy.

Bella had meandered into the poetry section. Occasionally she would pull out a book and read a poem or two to herself, her beautiful lips gently tracing the outlines of the words.

She seemed very intent on one poem, the words affecting her more strongly then the others I had watched her read. I approached her cautiously, desperately needing to know what it was that had captivated her so. I heard her mutter something.

"What did you say?"

Bella jumped slightly. "Oh, nothing," she muttered as the thick book slipped out of her hands.

I caught it, grabbing the page she was on. "Emily Dickinson. _If You Were Coming in the Fall_. You could wait forever if you knew that you could be with the one you loved." I handed the book while mulling over her possible reasons for choosing that poem. "I prefer _Because I Could Not Stop For Death, _personally. I'm not big on unrequited love."

It bothered me slightly that it was that particular poem that had caught Bella's attention. I liked Emily Dickinson for what she was, but her outlook on love was one that had always bothered me. Rosalie said that I could never quiet understand it because I was not a girl and because I had never been in love before.

Well, I was in love now and the poems scared me more. Bella had been reading a poem about unrequited love with the saddest look in her eyes. I didn't want her to look like that. I didn't want her to be saddened by those feelings.

It was true when I said that I wasn't a fan of unrequited love. I much preferred requited love, like any sane person.

Bella slid the book back into its place and walked away from me, as if my presence had disturbed her.

I left her on her own for a little while, doing some exploring myself. I hadn't been to this store in a while and there was a ton for me to route through. It was not long before I had managed to make myself an impressive stack of old hardbacks, a few of which I was sure that my father would be eager to get a look at.

I startled, suddenly remembering something. "Bella. Where are you?"

"Right here," Bella said from the other side of the bookcase that I had been in the middle of scouring. She walked into the aisle and smiled at me.

I smiled back. "There's something I wanted to show you." Summoning some courage I placed my hand on her back and guided her to the back of the bookstore. "I can't believe I forgot to show you the best part."

When I used to spend my summers in this store I would sit out in the sun filled garden for hours. When it wasn't raining the garden behind the bookstore was a beautiful and surprisingly quite place to come and read.

"It's beautiful." Bella stepped away from me and down into the garden, a large leather bound book clutched to her chest.

My hand ached as she moved away from me. I should have followed her down, but was too captivated to move when she closed her eyes and turned her face up into the sunlight.

This was one of those moments, the kind that I had been waiting for. If I had had any courage I would have walked down the stairs, taken Bella in my arms and told her exactly how much she meant to me.

I played the scenario over and over in my head, wondering which possible ending would be Bella's reaction to me.

Bella looked up at me and smiled. "What?" She had been wondering why I had been staring at her.

I shook my head. No, now was not the time. It was too soon. Our friendship was still too tenuous. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

I felt like I needed to escape my own cowardness so I retreated back into the darken store, leaving Bella out in the sun.

As I searched through the books again I pondered the situation. What exactly was I waiting for? Some kind of sign sent down by the powers that be that read 'This is the moment, Edward.' While that would be nice I was sure that no such sign was going to be provided for me. I wanted it to be perfect when I told her. I needed everything to be right, like so many of the movies that we had watched together, and so many of the books that we both had read.

After an endless amount of berating myself I returned outside to talk to Bella. Who knows, maybe I would get another chance?

I didn't speak to her. Bella was so absorbed in her book that she didn't hear me walk out. She looked so lovely in the fading sunlight. There in the garden, hunched over the book, reminded me a bit of Mary from The Secret Garden. So wrapped up in her own private world, I would hate myself to disturb it.

Sadly I did manage to disturb it when my phone went off in my pocket.

Rose. Well, I knew that this call would come sooner or later. I had to return Bella back to the rest of our friends. There was to be no more alone time for us today.

"Hey. I was wondering when you were going to call."

"You could have called me, you know. I was having a panic attack when you two disappeared. At first I decided to let you two be on your own, but god Edward, its been six hours!"

I was astonished. "We haven't been gone for that long, have we?"

"It's six forty-five."

"I guess you're right. Wow, time flies when you are having fun."

"You're at that bookstore aren't you?"

I laughed at Rose's accusatory tone. "How'd you guess?"

"Where else would you be? When in doubt, look for Edward at the bookstore. Same as when we were kids."

"Whatever, you obviously know me far too well. I think I need some new friends, someone I can't surprise as easily as you."

"Oh, well I'm sure Bella didn't mind hanging around in that place with you." Rose's voice trailed off suggestively.

"Yeah, whatever."

"Well, get out of there. Alice wants to you two down here by seven."

I sighed, not really wanting to leave. "Okay, I'll get her going and we'll try to get there in time. I didn't realize that it was so late already."

"Well, we all know how you are when you are around old books."

"Yeah," I smiled to myself. "See you in a bit. Bye Rose."

I closed the phone and looked up to see that Bella was staring at me.

"Do you realize that we've been gone for nearly six hours?" I asked her.

"What?" Her voice was incredulous.

"Yeah, seriously. We've been here for a good four hours at least." I walked down the stairs to meet her just as she was standing up, obviously ready to go. "Alice wanted us all to watch the sunset together in the pier before going to get dinner. We have about fifteen minuets to get over there."

Bella went back into the store and I followed her. She went to put the copy of whatever it was she was reading back on the shelf. I grabbed it from her. Alice in Wonderland. How sweet.

"I'll buy it for you." I told her.

"What? Why?" Bella spluttered.

"It's your favorite. You loved it the moment you picked it up. I have to buy it for you." Also because I felt guilty for what I had done earlier, or what I didn't do. I placed it on top of the stack of my books and placed them on the front counter.

"How do you know that it's my favorite?" Bella asked.

I handed over the money for the books. "I was watching you read it. The smile you had on your face was wistful and nostalgic. It's definitely your favorite children's book." I grabbed the bag and Bella followed me out into the street.

"What's your favorite children's book?" She asked me.

"The Hobbit," I responded automatically.

"That's not a children's book."

It wasn't. I had never really liked most books intended for children of my age. The Hobbit was my favorite book when I was a child.

"My dad read it to me the first time when I was four," I explained. "We had a big book this tall and about this thick. It had pictures from the cartoon in it. They folded out to be about three feet long. I loved that thing. It was always my favorite. Still is, actually." I smiled wistfully to myself. I was going to have to dig that book out when I got home.

When we got to the pier there were four sets of yes looking at us, all asking for an explanation. Luckily, Bella was to entranced by the sunset to notice. Rose and Alice quietly closer around Bella, not attracting any attention to themselves.

Jasper and Emmett, on the other hand, just came right out and said what they were thinking.

"So," Jasper said curiously, "did you purpose?"

I punched him hard in the shoulder, knocking him back into Emmett.

"Dude, calm down." Emmet threw a bulky arm across my shoulder. "We're just curious. How'd you get her alone?"

"Oh, you know," I sighed. "I just hit her over the head with a club and then dragged her off by her hair."

"Hey, don't knock the classics," Emmett said jokingly.

"Whatever." I leaned over the railing and looked down at the blue-green water sloshing up against the wooden columns.

"So, where did you two go?" Emmett asked.

"Just a bookstore," I shrugged.

Emmett's eyes lit up. "Oh. Anything _interesting_ happen in there?" He elbowed me in the ribs.

"What?" I asked.

"You know. You and Bella in a bookstore. You know." I didn't like the strange tone that Emmett's voice had taken on.

"I obviously don't," I responded.

Emmett grinned at me again. Suddenly something came back to me. A memory flavored with alcohol. I was going to kill Emmett.

I knocked Emmett back up against the railing of the pier. "Jasper, help me."

"Why?"

"I can't throw him over by myself."

Jasper laughed and tried to help me but Emmett easily fought the two of us off.

"Jeez," Emmett laughed. "Way to overreact Edward."

I glared at him.

"So, what actually happened? Did you kiss her?" Jasper asked.

"No," I shook my head. "I had the chance to, but I wimped out."

"Why?" Emmett was incredulous.

"Because," I heaved a sigh and focused harder on the water. "Because I want everything to be perfect. Because it feels too soon. Because I'm still not one hundred percent sure of how she feels about me. Because I don't know how she would react if I did something that impulsive."

"That's a lot of because's," Emmett said intelligently.

"I just—I just don't want to wreck anything by doing something stupid."

"Well, then you've got to do a lot of little things. Work up to it. Flirt more, tease her a little bit, and don't be afraid to touch her. If she begins to expect stuff like that from you then any spontaneous burst of affection from you might not scare her away."

I sighed. It probably wasn't a good thing when Emmett was sounding smart.

"The problem with you and Bella is that neither of you are comfortable with taking charge."

I sighed, wondering if I was going to regret this. "Explain."

"Well, look at Rose and I. We both have assertive personalities. We both do and get what we want. We don't wait around for explanations. I didn't have to ask Rose out because she did it first. She didn't have to wait for me to kiss her cause I just did it. There are no hang-ups. Sure, we do fight a bit, but we've learned that we have to take turns about who wins."

"Then there's Alice and Jasper. Alice is obviously in charge of that relationship. She initiated contact. She asked him out. She's entirely the forward one. Jasper just bends to her will."

"Hey," Jasper said indignantly.

"Then you and Bella. Both of you are shy. You are both afraid of overstepping boundaries and what the other thinks. If one of you doesn't take charge at some point soon then the two of you are going to keep going in circles forever. You have to man up, take some initiative. If you plan to wait around for her to make the first move then it may take forever."

I sighed again and rested my head on the railing. Emmett was making too much sense.

"Just try something tonight. I'm not saying that you have to kiss her or anything, but just be a little less uptight, a little more flirty. You'll thank me."

With that, Emmett turned his attention to the girls. He got them moving off the pier and we headed down to the restaurant.

Once inside I caught a look from the hostess that I knew to well and moved to the back of our group. I remembered why I hated going out in public.

I ended up squished between Bella and Jasper. Bella was a little claustrophobic and insisted on sitting at the end of the bench that curved around the table. I was fine with that. Anything that kept her close to me and put something in between me and the overly friendly staff was a good thing.

"Hiding from the hostess?" Rose asked me.

I glared at her, not wanting to have this conversation.

"If there is one thing you can say about this place it's that the staff here are always friendly, to Edward, at least." Jasper grinned at me. I kicked him under the table, making everybody laugh.

Bella laughed to, so hard that I felt her begin to slip away from me. I only just barely caught her around the waist, preventing her from falling out onto the floor.

"Thanks," she said shyly.

"Catching you seems to be a full time job," I said as I reluctantly removed my arm.

"You're not getting paid very well," she joked.

"Hmm, you're just going to have to owe me, now aren't you?" This came out sounding a bit different then I had meant it to.

Bella stared at me, her mouth hanging open. Everyone else was staring at us to. I could almost hear Emmett mentally cheering for me.

"I've got a way that you can repay him, Bella." Rosalie said before Bella had a chance to respond. "You can pretend to be his girlfriend. Look, Edward. It's your favorite person."

I turned around to look at who she meant, but she was upon me sooner than I had expected. Jessica, my old high school stalker. The one girl, other than Bella, that I hadn't been able to discourage with my misanthropic ways. The problem with Jessica was that she was insane.

"Edward," she squealed. "How are you? I haven't seen you in so long."

"Hey, Jessica," I tried to be happy to see her, but you could tell that I was less than enthusiastic. "I'm doing pretty well. You?"

Jessica giggled. She always giggled when she talked to me. It was weird. It made me think of some colorful cartoon chipmunk.

Rose snorted bringing Jessica's attention to the other people at the table.

"Rosalie, Jasper, I should have known if Edward was here that you wouldn't be too far behind."

"Hey Jess. It's so good to see you, really."

Rose and Jessica had always had some kind of antagonism going on. Aside from the general way that Jessica treated me, Rose and her had always had a problem with each other. Or more, Rose had a problem with Jessica.

Jessica seemed unaware of that problem. "Who are your friends?"

"This is my boyfriend Emmett. That's Jasper's girlfriend Alice. And this is—"

"This is Bella," I cut Rose off. Although I did want Jessica to realize that the only female that I was going to be paying any attention to was the one sitting next to me, I didn't want to call her my girlfriend. Well, I did, but I didn't know how Bella would feel about that. "Bella is Chief Swan's daughter. We just happened to have a class together at school. Small world, huh?"

"Small world," Jessica agreed through a very forced looking smile. "Can I get you guys anything to drink?"

"That went well," Jasper said after Jessica had left.

I groaned and buried my face in my hands.

"Explain please?" Alice asked.

"Jessica practically stalked Edward in high school" Rose said "That girl would not take 'no' for an answer. Edward eventually had to make up a fake girlfriend to get her to leave him alone."

"She was totally obsessed," Jasper added. "He locker was like a shrine to Edward's beauty."

"Jasper, shut up." I muttered into my hands. There was a lot of things that I didn't want to remember about high school and that was a big one.

"She's coming back. Bella," Rose waved at Bella. Bella gave Rose a look that seemed stuck between confused and upset.

"Here are your guys drinks." Jessica leaned across the table letting her top fall open right in my line of sight. I looked away. "Are you all ready to order?" She stared right at me.

I turned to Bella. "Bella?"

I hoped that Bella wouldn't hate me as I threw my arm across her shoulder. Bella knew about my history with girls, maybe she would understand.

She looked shocked for a moment and then turned to Jessica, smirked at her and told her exactly what she wanted.

"Sorry about that," I said after Jessica left.

I went to take my arm away, but Bella stopped me.

"Don't. She's going to come back. And I think that she's watching us from the kitchen. You want her to believe it, don't you?"

I didn't want Jessica to believe it, I wanted it to be true. "I'm game if you are." Very, very game.

"Ooo," Emmett laughed. "This is going to get interesting."

That night I did one of the most terrifying things that I had thought possible; I took Emmett's advice. I held Bella's hand. I flirted with her. I played with her hair, something that I had wanted to do for a long time. And the best part was Bella was doing it to. Bella and I were pushing the boundaries of our relationship and she didn't seem to mind.

I may have gone a little too far when I tried to feed her, but Bella just laughed and put up with it. I never wanted this night to end.

As we left I helped Bella into my jacket. She took my hand and I waved goodbye to Jessica as we walked out of the restaurant.

I was ecstatic. I was in love. It felt like I was in some cheesy musical. I was about ready to burst into song.

I didn't let go of Bella's hand once we were outside. I'd let her pull away first. But she didn't pull away, she just kept flirting.

"Okay, no matter how evil that was, I have to admit that I haven't had that much fun in a while." I pulled Bella in closer to me, needing to make sure that she was really there and that I hadn't dreamed the whole night up.

She rested her head against my shoulder. Her hair smelled like freesia, making my head spin with lust. "It's good to know that I'm fun to be around. Maybe now you have a good reason to spend time with me. I can keep the girls away."

As if that was the only reason that I would even want to spend time with her. "Yeah, and I can catch you. Full time jobs for both of us. Maybe you should move in with me, _love_," I called her my new pet name for her. I wondered if I could keep calling her that after tonight. Maybe she would pick up on the fact that I meant it when I called her 'love.'

"You'll have to ask my dad if it's okay, _sweetheart_," she said.

We both laughed. Maybe it came from the freeness of begin able to say how we felt out loud, even if we were still both clinging to the pretense of only joking around as friends.

"God, you two are getting way too much of a kick out of this," said Emmett. That was his hint that maybe I should actually do something, since everything else seemed to be going so well.

Rosalie elbowed Emmett in the ribs. "Ow. What?"

She glared at him.

When we reached the cars Alice and Jasper, who had been giving each other goo goo eyes for the past ten minuet's, scrambled into the back of my car.

I waited until Rose and Emmett had driven off before turning to Bella.

"Have fun today?" I asked. I wanted to make sure that everything that we had done that night was okay. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.

"Yeah, tons." I could hear the truth in her words.

"Good. I'm really glad that we can have fun together. You are a good friend, Bella." Remind her of how I felt. I wasn't just flirting, I cared about her. She meant a lot to me.

She smiled wryly at me. In a moment of playfulness I grabbed her hand and spun her around. In surprise she tipped backwards, pulling me with her. She landed against that passenger door of my car. We were mere inches away from each other.

Here we were again. I had another chance, and this one seemed so much better. We had had our fun today. I knew that she was more comfortable with me. Why not?

I shouldn't have asked myself that question because I immediately started to come up with answers. Many of which had to do with the fact that Alice and Jasper were on the other side of the car door that I was pressing Bella into.

I looked down into Bella's eyes. They shone brightly in the moonlight. I could feel her shaking slightly under me. I was shaking to.

All I had to do was brush her lips for a second. That was it. I could let her make of that what she wanted to. It was so easy and so simple and yet so impossible.

I leaned forward but at the last second lost my nerve and searched for the door handle instead.

Bella's face fell when she realized that I was just opening the door for her. I didn't blame her. I wasn't really that fond of myself at the moment either.

"Thanks," she said unenthusiastically as she slid into the seat.

I smiled although she probably wouldn't see it in the dark. I closed the door and immediately began to berate myself for being the insecure idiot that I was

* * *

**I like this story better from Edward's point of view. Its such a different take on what was happening. It makes me smile. :) -- Like that. **

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** Grr Argh

* * *

**Chapter 10**

I was so upset with myself that I didn't call her the day after we went to Port Angeles. I still wasn't sure of I had made the right or the wrong choice by deciding not to kiss her, all I knew was that I was an idiot.

I had spent the entire next day moping around the house. My mother kept trying to convince me that I hadn't done anything that stupid, but I was mad at myself.

Later my mom suggested that I have my friends over the next day. "I want to make sure that this Bella girl is really as good as you say that she is."

I rolled my eyes at my mother. "Of course she is. Do you think that I would be acting this way if she wasn't?"

My mother grinned at me. "I just want to be positive that she's worth all of this trouble."

The next morning I called Jasper and told him my plan. He told me that he would pick Alice and Bella up at one o'clock just so long as I promised to stop being a whinny little girl every time I did something that I felt stupid about. He promised me that there would be a lot more stupidity in the future, so I may as well get used to it.

By noon I had worked up the courage to call Bella to inform her that she was coming over. I dialed her home phone number, hoping that her father was at work so only she would pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Edward."

"Hi," Bella's voice cracked. "What's up?"

"Jasper is coming over to pick you and Alice up in an hour. My parents wanted me to have my friends over. They want to make sure that you aren't imaginary." I smiled at my own little joke. Of course, I still wasn't entirely convinced that I hadn't made her up myself.

"Sounds like fun." Bella's voice sounded weak.

"Great. Emmett said something about getting some movies or whatever, so I don't know how late you guys are staying till." Whenever we did movie marathons they sometimes turned into all-nighters. "I'm sure you could move in and my mom wouldn't mind." Neither would I, I felt like adding.

Bella paused for a moment. "Well if we are going to be there in an hour I need to get off the phone. Alice needs the proper amount of time to dress me."

I heard a rustling on the other end of the phone line then a soft cursing.

"Oh dear, you've got me in trouble," Bella teased. "Alice doesn't like to have less than a days warning so she can think about what to put me in."

"Really?" I couldn't help but laugh. "Does she dress you every day?" Bella was a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. That wasn't really Alice's style.

"No, just on special occasions, which she decided this whole week fell under. I better get off." Bella sighed.

"Okay, see you in an hour."

"Bye Edward."

"Bye."

I may have done a little dance after hanging up the phone.

I spent the next half hour pacing around the house like a crazy person. My mother attempted to calm me down, but I wasn't having any of that.

"Edward," she said after a half an hour. "I have to go to the hospital to pick up your father from work. Could you please just sit down in one place and relax until your friends get here?"

I wasn't sure if I could but I made a big show about going over to the piano, opening the lid and sitting down. My mother didn't move from the doorframe until I was halfway through the first movement of 'Moonlight Sonata.'

The music did help to calm me. When I played I was able to turn my own mind off and simply let the notes flow through me. The whole world and all of its problems were turned off. Any emotions that I felt were only the ones expressed in the music.

I stopped at the end of the first movement. The melancholy beginning of 'Moonlight Sonata' was more what I was feeling, not the more energetic second and third movements that followed it. I instead turned to Chopin, the original Emo songwriter.

I moved through a couple of nocturnes. I liked Chopin's music. The complexity of the technique of the music presented such simple and irresistible songs that always captured so greatly the depth of human emotions. His music was hard to play, simplistic in sound and beautiful in every way.

My favorite was Prelude 15. I played it while I waited for my friends to arrive. It was an easy on to get lost in. As I finished the song I heard a soft noise behind me, like someone was exhaling.

I turned to see Bella standing in the doorway, a slightly dazed look on her face. "Hey, I didn't hear you come in."

"Your attention was otherwise occupied," she shrugged, still looking a little dizzy. She must have been nervous.

"Yeah," I laughed. "I get like that when I play sometimes. It's nice to be home, I get to play on the real piano, not that cracked piece of junk that I have in the apartment."

"That was the Raindrop Prelude, wasn't it?" she asked.

"Yeah." She knew the name? I knew that Bella liked classical music, but I hadn't thought that she knew that much about it. "You know Chopin?"

Bella nodded enthusiastically. "I have a few Chopin CDs," she shrugged again.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?" I asked, notice that she was alone.

"Um, Jasper took Alice out back. He said that he wanted to show her something." She held her hands out in front of her. "I decided that I didn't want to know."

I nodded, knowing exactly what they were up to. "Probably best. You can put your stuff down."

Bella dropped her bag under my piano. She peeled off the light blue cardigan that she was wearing and tossed it on top of her bag.

Again, to say that she looked beautiful would be a bit of an understatement. She was wearing a white cotton dress that made her look so delicate and pretty. I had never seen her in a dress before and was caught up in the fact that I could see her legs for the first time. I decided that I liked the look of Bella in dresses.

I chuckled to myself.

"What?" Bella asked, her eyes wide.

"You match the rest of the house," I said. No need for her to know that my mind was really thinking of other occasions in which she could be wearing a white dress.

Bella looked around at the décor of my house. "Well, if I get nervous I'll back into a wall or something," she joked. "No one will see me."

I smirked at her. "My mom will defiantly get a kick out of you matching the furniture." There was a sound from the kitchen, letting me know that my parents were home and had chosen to come in the back way. "Oh, and here she is."

I stood up and guided Bella over to my parents. I could almost feel her shaking against my hand.

"Mom, dad, this is Bella."

"Hello Bella," dad shook her hand "It's very nice to see you again."

"It's good to see you again to, Dr. Cullen." Bella blushed at my father.

"Carlisle, please Bella. I'm only Dr. Cullen at work. Here I'm just Carlisle."

My mother couldn't contain herself. She rushed forward and took Bella's hand in hers. "Esme. It's so nice to finally meet you Bella. We've heard so much about you in the last few weeks."

I really hoped that Bella didn't pick up on the fact that my mother had said 'weeks.' I didn't want her to think that I was obsessed, even though I was.

It wasn't long before Rose and Emmett showed up. She must have found Jasper and Alice in the back garden because they followed her inside.

It was obvious that both Alice and Emmett received my mother's approval, which made Jasper and Rose very happy. My mom was practically their mom to. They cared more about her opinion than did of their own mother's.

When Rose began showing Bella and Alice around my mother cornered me.

"She's so pretty," she commented.

"I told you," I smiled.

"Can I talk to her?"

"Why not?" I said, clearly confused.

"You don't mind if I check her out a bit more?"

Oh. I shrugged. "I guess, just don't say anything about me liking her. I am trying to take this slow and not come off desperate."

"Don't worry," my mother smirked at me. "I like her already."

My mom had managed to get Bella alone and talk to her for a bit. She said that Bella was very nice but not very talkative, I told my mother that she hadn't asked Bella any questions about Harry Potter.

Both of my parents loved her, though my dad was less willing to give an opinion as my mom was. Dad seemed oddly detracted from the whole situation.

When Emmett had said that he was going to bring over some movies, he meant that he was going to rent every single movie in the rental store that had vampires as a central plot. It seemed that he had not gotten over losing that stupid game to me and wanted to take it out on Bella and I.

I had developed a plan of action for that night. While Bella and I had been close two nights before in Port Angels we had become awkward again since my failed attempt at kissing her. I needed to get that closeness back and I needed to make it seem causal and inconsequential.

Bella, Jasper, Alice and I ended up sharing one of the couches that was made to only hold three people. This was partially my plan, which made it necessary for Bella to be as close to me as possible, making any casual touches seem more accidental.

Bella's proximity was comparable to that how we had been at the restaurant, but now it was not only dark but Bella was prevented from sliding off the edge of the couch by the armrest. Part of me felt like I was trapping her there, but I managed to squish any guilty feelings. If Bella was feeling uncomfortable with our current situation then I am sure that she would have told me.

I really didn't even watch any of the movies, bored by the unimaginative dialogue and predicable plots. All of my thoughts were centered around Bella.

At first I just let the closeness flood my senses. Bella's floral scent wrapped itself around my head, making me feel intoxicated. The heat radiating off of her body made any part of me that was not touching her feel cold.

She began to whisper to me. Little jokes. Making fun of something stupid that had happened. For all of these comments I had to lean my head down to hear her, bringing our faces almost unbearably close.

My next move was to subtly lean my arm against the back of the couch behind Bella's head. I had noticed that no matter how predictable the poorly orchestrated music made the movie, Bella still jumped when anything spooky popped out of a closet. I waited for her to jump and in the same instant move my arm from the back of the couch to her shoulder, almost as if she had knocked it off. She didn't even notice.

It was some time later that she cuddled herself into my side and leaned her head on my shoulder, her soft hair tickling my neck.

I turned my head, more interested in watching the lights bouncing in Bella's eyes than the actual image on the screen. I raised my hand to play with the silky strands of her curls. Bella sighed lightly, her eyelids fluttering shut.

"These movies are all the same," I whispered to her.

She smiled, her eyes closed. "Mmm," she hummed in what I assumed was agreement.

I watched Bella until her breathing slowed and her body relaxed further against mine. I pulled a blanket down from the back of the couch and wrapped it around her. I was glad that I had chosen to do this because while Bella had shifted around earlier when she had still been awake she was very aware that she was wearing a dress. In her sleep Bella was not so cautious and in the process of trying to cuddle into me further she actually threw her legs across my lap.

I met my mother's eyes when Bella did this and my mom smiled at me. Bella nuzzled her head into my shoulder and muttered out my name.

My mom gave me a look of surprise and I smiled goofily back at her. I had not mentioned my previous experience with a sleeping Bella to my mother.

"She's asleep," I mouthed to my mom.

She nodded at me and stood up. "I'll call Charlie," she mouthed to me.

I looked over at Jasper who was asleep with his head in Alice's lap. "Are you okay with staying the night?" I asked Alice quietly.

Alice just smiled at me and continued to wrap Jasper's blond curls around her fingers.

I would have asked Rose and Emmett if they wanted to stay as well, but I already knew that they had other plans for the rest of the night. I swear that those two never slept.

Finally, upon seeing that Bella was unconscious Emmett gave up his vendetta against her and allowed me to put her in a bed.

I stood up very carefully with Bella and carried her out of the room just as Alice was attempting to shake Jasper back into consciousness, saying that there was no way that she was going to carry him anywhere.

My mom met me at the bottom of the stairs, her eyes lit of excitedly at the sight of the sleeping girl in my arms.

"I called Charlie and told him that Alice and Bella had fallen asleep and that they were going to stay in one of our guest rooms. I called Jasper's mother and said that same for him, Rose and Emmett, though I assume that they are not staying."

I laughed. My mom knew Rose too well.

"All of the guest rooms are made up, so you could put Bella in the one next to your room, or whatever." She gave me an embarrassing look to get from ones mother.

"Mom," I said quietly, blushing.

Bella shifted in my arms. "Edward," she mumbled and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I think that girl might love you, Edward," my mom said quietly.

I looked down at Bella, smiling. "I know," I almost whispered. "I love her to."

"Don't you think that it's time to tell her?"

"Soon," I said. "Goodnight mom."

"Goodnight." She leaned over Bella to kiss me on the forehead. "I'll see you two in the morning."

I carried Bella up the stairs. I paused at the open doorway of the guest bedroom and looked into the darkness. Something stopped me from going in there. Instead I carried Bella into my room. I wasn't sure why I did it. Maybe I thought that Bella would be more comfortable in there or maybe I was just trying to live out some stupid college boy fantasy of seeing her asleep in my bed, again.

I lay Bella down on the bed, her hands still clasped tight around my neck. I tried to separate her hands but she grumbled and grabbed on to me tighter. While she was still holding on to me I managed to pull the quilt up around her and settle her back on the pillows.

I awed me how much she looked like a princess. Her pale skin and dark hair made her look more like Snow White than Sleeping Beauty. I momentarily gave in to my urges and leaned forward to press a kiss on my sleeping princess' forehead.

She didn't wake up but she did release her hands, holding onto my shoulders instead. I pulled back from her and her hands slid down my arms. Her hands clasped around my wrists like manacles, preventing me from leaving.

"No," she said in her sleep, her face scrunched up like a stubborn child. "Edward. Stay."

For a moment I thought—and wished—that she may have actually been awake and asking me to stay. If she had been, then there was no way that I could have said no to her.

Despite my wishing I knew that Bella was merely talking in her sleep.

"I have to go, Bella," I pleaded. I hoped that she might hear me in her dream and release me.

"No," she pouted again. With a surprising force for an unconscious person she tugged me forward, knocking me off my feet and onto the bed. "Stay."

I looked down at my hands. There was no way that I was going to be able to pry her off of me and not wake her up. Surely she would let go eventually. If I stayed still enough her grip on me would loosen and I would be able to sneak away to the guest room without her noticing.

I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. It was only three twenty. Surely I could keep my eyes open for another half an hour.

* * *

**I think the thing I like most about Edward POVs is that you get so see what Bella does when she is asleep, or drunk. **

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** La la la la

* * *

**Chapter 11  
**

_I stalked through the dark forest, using only the light of the moonlight as my guide. I hunched over, keeping low to the ground as I walked, not wanting to attract any attention if possible. I was a hunter seeking out my prey, and I could smell her all around me. The path that she had taken through the dense woods was clearly marked by the distinct floral scent that she left behind her. I could have found her blindfolded, let alone in the bright light of the full moon. _

_The woods opened into a clearing. It was my clearing. That place that I had stumbled on years ago. That place where I went when I wanted to think. That place that I had told no one, not even Jasper about. And she was there. _

_She was standing in the middle of the clearing. She turned when I entered, clearly startled. _

_She was wearing a dark blue dress made of some flimsy satiny fabric that was easily tossed around in the gentle breeze. The moonlight made her skin look even paler than usual and made her brown eyes black. _

_Her head whipped around when she turned to look at me, tossing her long hair up in the cool breeze. _

_I paused at the edge of the clearing as if I was waiting for her to run. She breathed heavily once, and then smiled coyly. The kind of smile that I had never before seen cross her lips. The look her she fixed me with filled my body with tremors. She beckoned me forward with one finger and I stupidly stumbled towards her. As I walked I vaguely wondered who was really hunting whom. _

_I grabbed her and pulled her firmly into my chest. Even though I towered over her and she felt so small in my arms I almost felt afraid of what she might do. She placed her hands on my chest. I grasped her tighter, momentarily afraid that she would push me away with a strength that I could not match. _

_I slid one hand up her back and wound my fingers into the ends of her hair. I tugged gently and she willingly tipped her head back, exposing her neck and most of her chest to my feral gaze. _

_Before I could even think to stop myself I lower my mouth to her chest, grazing my lips across her porcelain skin. The heat radiating from her chest almost burnt my lips as I ran them across her collarbones. _

_I trailed my lips up her neck and she fisted her tiny hands into my hair, pulling me in even closer. _

_I stopped, my trembling lips hovering over her carotid artery. I could feel her rapid pulse fluttering against my lips. Her heart beat heavily, not like she was scared. More like she was excited. _

_I breathed across her skin and she shuddered beneath me. _

_My hand that was still on her back pressed her body tighter against mine, the other still wound in her hair, gently holding her head where I wanted it. _

Something bumped into me.

I growled. Those dumb vampire movies that Emmett had made us watch the night before had screwed with my brain. I still took a brief moment to solidify everything that had happened in my dream to memory. Maybe I could go back to sleep and see how it ended.

I opened my eyes for the briefest second the firmly shut them again. I had forgotten to close the curtains. My room, being nearly fifty percent glass, got very bright first thing in the morning. I also didn't remember turning off the light last night, which would have also added to the ridiculous amount of light.

I opened my eyes again. This time I saw Bella. She was lying next to me, still wrapped up in the quilt. Her hair was tangled slightly and curled out in various directions. Her brown eyes shone in the harsh light of my room. She was smiling at me. Smiling at me as though she had never been happier to see me. She looked like an angel haloed in light.

I blinked my eyes, startled by this second dream that was in direct contrast to my first. I blinked again, half expecting her to disappear. Then I remembered something.

"It's morning, isn't it?" I asked, afraid of any reaction that Bella was bound to have.

Still smiling, much to my surprise, she nodded.

I didn't know that I could move that fast. If I hadn't stopped short I probably would have gone right through the window, which didn't seem like a bad idea. "Oh god, Bella. I am so sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen," I groaned into my hands.

"For what to happen, Edward?" Bella's voice was gentle an un-accusatory.

I waved my arms back at her. "I didn't mean to fall asleep. When I brought you up here last night I had meant to go and sleep in one of the guest rooms, but when I put you down—well—you had a pretty firm grip on me. You wouldn't let go. I thought that I could wait until you let go, but I must have been more tired than I thought. I am so sorry." I tried in vain to completely burry my face in my hands.

I hear Bella get up of the bed and move across the room.

"Edward," her voice was still even. "I don't mind. Don't be embarrassed. It's perfectly fine. What I _am_ concerned about is what I am going to tell my father." She sounded a little worried there. Of course that's what would bother her.

I dropped my hands from my face and turned to look at Bella. She was still smiling at me. She didn't seem upset. "My mom called your dad last night. She said that you and Alice were exhausted and were going to stay in one of the guest rooms. She was half right, Alice stayed in the guest room, with Jasper." I rolled my eyes.

"Emmett and Rose?" Bella asked, in an attempt to distract me further.

"Disappeared to god knows where. I didn't want to know, and I still don't." Whatever it was it definitely wouldn't be rated PG-13.

"That's twice now," Bella laughed softly. "I seem to fall asleep a lot when I am around you." Her voice was gently teasing. She wanted me to forget what had happened.

I laughed. She did fall asleep, but I definitely didn't mind.

"It's weird, I am not the kind of person who falls asleep anywhere. I really can only sleep in my own bed. I am usually to nervous to sleep anywhere else."

"I guess that means that I just make you comfortable," I said, trying to find some explanation other than that I was boring.

"Yeah," she laughed. "You do."

That made me feel a bit better. At least I knew that she did feel comfortable around me. That was something.

She smiled again and looked down at herself. "Well, I should probably go downstairs and thank your mother."

"Alright," I agreed reluctantly. I was just beginning to feel better. The last thing that I needed was to be alone with my thoughts.

Bella smiled at me and walked out of the room, leaving me alone to change my clothes and begin to feel really guilty again.

I banged my head against the dinning room table. Every time I went over it in my head I became more and more like some oafish caveman that hit Bella over the head with a club and dragged her unconscious body back to my cave.

We had all decided to go down to La Push so Jasper had taken Alice and Bella home so that they could change. I was supposed to pick Jasper up at his parent's house and then Bella and Alice up and Bella's house in an hour.

Part of me wanted to back out of it. I wasn't sure if I could face her. I felt like I didn't deserve to look at her ever again. Bella may have acted fine with it, but I was sure that what I had done was going to change the way that she felt about me. I would no longer be the friend that she could trust; I was now some stupid creepy guy that she had to keep her eye on. I had never felt more disgusted with myself in my whole life.

I heard the kitchen door open and close. I looked up to see Rose breeze in and out of the room. All she managed to say to me was, "I can't find my cell phone."

Emmett followed her in but stopped to take a look at me instead of following her into the living room. "Dude, rough night?" he asked.

I groaned and covered my face with my hands.

"Whoa. What happened?"

I looked up at Emmett. He actually looked concerned. "Do you remember how Bella talks in her sleep?"

Emmett nodded.

"Well, it turns our that she's kind of grabby to."

Emmett's eye widened. I could see what I had said wrong.

"Last night she got a pretty firm hold on my _wrists_," Emmett's face fell, "and she wouldn't let go. She kept asking me to 'stay' in her sleep. I couldn't let go without waking her up. I thought that I could wait for her to let go on her own. Apparently not."

"Dude," Emmett said slowly. "Was Bella pissed?"

"No. No, she seemed fine with it," I said disbelievingly.

Emmett gave me a quizzical look. "Then why are we worrying?"

"_We_ are worrying because I acted like a total insensitive and un-thoughtful pervert," I snapped.

Emmett rolled his eyes at me. "Edward. You fell asleep next to the girl you love who loves you to. She doesn't mind. What is your problem?"

"We aren't together."

Emmett shook his head. "And whose fault is that?" He walked out of the room after Rose.

I swore loudly, though the thunking sound that my head made on the table was even louder.

We had been at the beach for about an hour but Bella and I had barley spoken. This was more my fault than it was Bella's. I just felt so ashamed about how what had happened that I was having trouble looking her in the eye.

The sudden need to burry Emmett in the sand had distracted everyone else. I had my chance to talk to her, explain myself, and maybe apologize again.

I had been standing over Bella for the last three minuets and she still hadn't noticed me. She was lying on her stomach reading Dune. It had always been one of my favorite books and Bella had picked it up just because I had asked her to read it.

I crouched down in front of her. "Bella," I said in an attempt to draw her attention away from the book.

She looked up at me, startled. "What?"

"I was wondering of you wanted to get away from these goofballs and go for a walk with me down on the beach. There was—uh—something that I wanted to talk to you about." I cringed slightly. I didn't really want to explain why I had acted to stupidly, but I hoped that if I gave her some kind of explanation that I wouldn't lose her as a friend.

"Sure," she smiled sweetly at me.

I held out and hand and she took it, allowing me to pull her to her feet. Bella looked down at her self briefly and scowled. She attempted to knock the sand off her pants but I thought that she was fighting a loosing battle.

I didn't really know how to start so Bella and I ended up walking in silence for about a quarter of a mile.

I eventually just took a deep breath and went for it. "Bella—Bella, I am really sorry about what happened last night."

"Edward," Bella sighed, "I told you already; I'm not upset. Stop worrying."

"I just—I just didn't want to give you the wrong idea." I really didn't want her to think that I was some kind of a creep.

Bella's face was unreadable for a moment_. _"You didn't," she said, almost a little sadly. "I know you better than that."

I laughed. I guess she did know me better than that. What had I been thinking? Bella knew that I wasn't just some creep who was trying to get into her pants. I was her friend. "Good. I was afraid that I might have screwed up the dynamic of our friendship."

She smiled a little more.

"I just didn't want to affect what we have."

"You didn't," she said. She laughed, but it almost sounded forced.

After a while I looked up to see to figures approaching us down the beach. I knew that it was Jacob and Seth long before they were close enough to be visually identified. Those two seemed to have some kind of sense about whenever I showed up on the reservation.

I had met Jacob and Seth through repeated visits to the reservation in high school. Jacob was mildly annoying at times and tended to be a bit of a 'skirt chaser,' but he was a nice enough guy. Seth was pretty cool and really nice. I liked the guys okay but I never spent much time with them outside of La Push.

Bella stiffened when she saw the guys approaching us. I guess that the two would look rather intimidating to people who didn't know them. Jacob was all bulk but wasn't a quick thinker, and Seth was just too nice to pick fights with people.

"Hey Cullen," Jacob shouted. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"It's a free country," I shouted back. No matter how old we got we still had to play this stupid little game every time we saw each other. "I can be here if I want to."

"Oh, we'll see about that." Jacob picked up his pace.

I grinned. Jacob had yet to defeat me at this game.

"Bella, move," I told her.

Bella's eyes widened in shock and she back away from me quickly, putting a distance of almost fifteen feet between us.

Jacob was coming at me at a run, Seth behind him just trying not to laugh. I stood my ground, waiting for Jacob's attack. One last minuet swift move to the side and a well-placed foot knocked Jacob onto his back.

I put my foot on his chest like some kind of conquering general. "Ha," I grinned down at him

Jacob looked stunned for a second then grimaced at me. "Fine, you win. This time."

I removed my foot and held out my hand to help Jacob up. He looked at it unwillingly, but allowed me to pull him to his feet.

"As I recall, I won last time to," I reminded him. "And the time before that."

Jacob ignored me and busied himself by knocking the sand off of his clothes.

"You may be stronger than me, Jacob, but I am smarter than you." I clapped Jacob in the shoulder, letting him know that my teasing was all just for fun.

"Hey Edward," Seth said, punching me in the arm.

"Hey Seth. Long time no see."

"Well, you have been off at school, man. It's not we are going to drive all the way out there to go and see you."

"I think we should. The girls seem to be much hotter where you are."

I followed Jacob's line of sight over to Bella who was still looking shocked over fifteen feet away. I laughed and waved her over. "Guys, this is Bella. She's chief Swan's daughter. Bella, this is Seth Clearwater and Jacob Black."

"Hi," she waved shyly. She inched herself closer to me as if she was seeking out my protection.

"Bella and I already know each other," Jacob informed me with a smug grin.

I turned to Bella. "You do?"

She shrugged.

"Yeah, we go way back, Bella and I." Jacob turned to Bella. "I didn't recognize you without mud in your hair."

Bella's eyes narrowed and I saw recognition pass through them.

Jacob laughed. "I see you do remember me."

I couldn't help my own laugh.

"Where's Jasper?" Seth asked.

I pointed back down the beach. "Back there with his girlfriend."

"Hey is—" Jacob wolf whistled and waved his hands about, his standard gesture when referring to girls, "—with him?"

"If I am to assume that by that crude gesture you meant Rosalie, then yes she is there to."

"Excellent," Jacob said. "Hey Seth, lets go down and visit the Hale's and leave Edward alone with his girl." Jacob started off down the beach.

Seth rolled his eyes and gave Bella a faint smile before following Jacob.

Laughed, shaking my head. Some people never change.

"You're not going to tell him about Emmett?" Bella asked.

"No. Let the little twerp find out for himself." I had never really approved on the way that Jacob looked at Rose but I had to admit that it was damn funny to watch her shoot him down. "C'mon, I wanted to show you the tide pools."

I steered Bella over to the large rocks that were washed over when the tied was high.

Bella eyed the rocks with fear. "Tide pools?"

I jumped up on the rocks and held out my hand to Bella. "I'll help you. Don't worry; I wont let anything happen to you."

Bella placed her small hand in mine. "Promise?" she asked tentatively.

"Promise." I pulled her up onto the rock.

I had miscalculated a bit and Bella had ended up a bit closer to me than I had expected. It was so hard not to just wrap my arms around her right there, but I stopped myself yet again.

"Steady?" I asked Bella in an attempt to distract myself.

"Yup," Bella smiled unsurely.

I hoped from rock to rock, pulling Bella carefully behind me. I showed her everything in the tiny worlds created by the tide. Bella was inquisitive and eager for me to tell her about all of the things living in the pools. She was not so fond of me when I told her to stick her finger in the anemone and it closed up around her, but we both got a good laugh out of it in the end.

We were heading back when Bella fell out of my sight. I heard some scuffling and when I looked up she was gone.

"Bella?" I called out for her, worry filling my voice.

In one brief second every bad thing that could have possibly happened to her ran through my brain on fast forward. Knowing Bella she could have tripped over a fairy circle and gotten pulled into another dimension.

"Are you all right?" I managed to ask before I really began to panic.

"Well," she responded almost instantly, "I'm not wet."

She hadn't been that far behind me. She must have tripped coming over the last area when I wasn't looking. She was leaning back on a rock.

I got to her side as quick as possible. Supporting most of her weight, I managed to get her over the dangerous area and sit her down so I could get a good look at what had happened.

I pulled the shoe and sock off of the foot that Bella had been keeping her weight off of. It looked fine, but six years of playing soccer told me that you could hurt something bad and never see a scratch.

Six years of soccer, and being the son of a doctor, had also taught me how to identify a break.

"Wiggle your toes for me," I asked Bella.

She wiggled them for me with more enthusiasm than was required. If the situation hadn't been so serious I might have laughed. Well, that meant that nothing was broken badly at least.

I pressed my fingers into the sides of her ankle. "Does this hurt?"

"No," she shook her head. "It's fine. Look," she rolled her ankle around. I saw her hide the brief wince of pain from me. "I just tweaked it. I've done it before."

I felt so bad all of a sudden. I should have listened to Bella when she felt uneasy about going up there. If I hadn't been so insistent then she wouldn't have gotten hurt. It was all my fault.

"What's the matter?" she asked, sounding exasperated.

"I just feel bad. I promised that I wouldn't let anything happen to you." There was the guilt again. I always seemed to feel bad about something related to Bella.

"Edward, nothing happened to me," she insisted.

"Yes, you got hurt."

"Yeah, it's not like this is the first time that I've done this." She wiggled her foot at me. "I just need to keep off of it for a few hours and I will be fine. If I don't put any pressure on it I should be as good as new tomorrow morning."

"I should take you home," I resolved. Maybe I would take her to see my dad on the way, just to make sure that nothing was wrong. An x-ray or two would make me feel a lot better.

"Edward, no." She snatched her foot away from me and began pulling her shoe back on. "I am staying here and having fun with everybody else."

I had to smile. She was a strong one, and a stubborn one. "Fine." I stood up.

Bella grabbed on to my shoulders and stood herself up, keeping her weight off of her bad foot. "Well, we better get going if I am going to hobble back down the beach before the sun goes down."

I shook my head, turned around and pulled Bella up onto my back. There was no way that I was going to let her walk back down the beach after she had gotten hurt.

"Edward," she grumbled, "you are not going to be able to carry me all the way back like this."

"Bella, last night I carried you up two flights of stairs while you were unconscious. I think I can manage to carry you half a mile down a flat beach."

Bella sighed dramatically. "Fine." She gripped harder onto my shoulders; unknowingly pulling herself much closer than I thought was decent.

I had to take a deep breath to clear my head before I started down the beach with her.

After a few minuets Bella got over the weirdness of letting me carry her. She began to enjoy it and even made a joke or two at my expense. I don't mind, it was all in fun and I would do anything to hear that girl laugh.

We were back to the group sooner than I had wished. Seth was playing catch with Emmett and Jasper while Jacob talked to Rose and Alice. Jacob was less of a pain when he realized that he didn't have a chance in hell with a girl. After that he tended to be fun to hang around.

Emmett leaned over and said something to Jasper when he saw us approach. I didn't need to have super hearing to know what Emmett was thinking. Jasper, being the great friend that he was, smacked Emmett on the back of the head with the football. Jasper grinned at me and I mouthed 'thank you,' back.

Emmett opened his mouth when we got closer but I shut him up. "She fell and twisted her ankle," I clarified. I didn't need Emmett making Bella uncomfortable.

I set Bella down on a vacated log next to the empty fire pit. "Take your shoe off again. I want to make sure that it's not swelling."

"I'm perfectly fine Edward," Bella grumbled as she pulled her shoe off.

I knelt down in the sand before her and checked her again to make sure that it hadn't gotten worse or that I hadn't missed something. "Fine," I sighed, defeated. "Don't get up. If you want anything then ask somebody. If I see you try to stand up then I am going to take you home."

"Yes mommy," Bella mumbled sarcastically.

I smirked at her and Bella stuck her cute little pink tongue out at me.

It got dark very quickly after Bella and I got back, but luckily Jacob had the fire going before the sun was completely gone.

Everybody ran around for a little while, giddy from being outside at night. I felt bad about Bella being stranded to that log, but every time I glanced over at her she would smile at me and every time I asked if she was okay she promised that she was having fun.

There was no place like La Push to see the stars. After spending so much time in the city I had almost begun to forget what a clear sky looked like. After making sure that Bella was wrapped up tightly in a blanket I pulled her close to me and showed her every constellation that I could remember.

Of course Jacob could not pass up a chance to tell stories. Luckily his tribe had many ancient legends and most of them I hadn't heard too many times. This particular one, however, I had heard, so I paid more attention to the fact that Bella's leg was pressed against mine then what Jacob was actually saying.

I felt a sharp pang of jealousy when Bella moved away from me, towards Jacob. But then I relaxed when she leaned her back against my legs. She had just been moving closer to the warmth of the fire.

My hands found their way forward and began to rub circles in the back of Bella's neck. I knew that Bella carried a lot of tension in her neck and was always rubbing it herself. I had occasionally seen her jerk her head to the side and hear a popping noise that I was sure wasn't healthy.

Bella immediately relaxed back into me, very grateful for what I was doing. All I could tell from the amount of tension in her neck was that something must have had her wound up the past few days.

"I've got a story now," Emmett announced.

I groaned internally.

"So three girls walk into a bar."

I groaned again. I had heard this one. It was less a joke and more of an excuse for Emmett to talk for a long time and end with a sexual pun. I instead returned my focus on Bella.

She lay her head back on my knees and smiled at me. I stroked her hair that fanned out across my legs. She looked to pretty in the glowing embers of the firelight. Her smile looked tired and I could see her eyes starting to close very slowly.

"I think that I should get you home before you fall asleep on me again."

She made a face of protest, but the most intelligible thing she could get out was, "Mmm."

"C'mon. It's getting late." I found Bella shoes on the other side of the log and handed them to her.

She tugged them on and made a move to stand up before I stopped her. "No you don't. You are not walking on that ankle."

Bella looked confused for a brief moment before she realized what I was talking about. She laughed quietly to herself.

I wrapped her tighter in the blanket and, once again, scooped her up into my arms. Bella squeaked when she realized what I was doing and wrapped her arms tightly around my neck, clinging on to me.

She looked up at me. I hadn't ever realized just how ridiculously close she was when I did this. I guessed it was because all of the other times she had been fast asleep. She was awake now, and looking at me in such and odd way I almost considered asking Jasper and Alice if they could ride back with Rose. Then I remembered exactly how tired Bella had looked a minute before.

I carried her up to the car, got the door open and managed to get her in the seat. She looked like she was practically asleep before I even managed to close her door.

I had hated to wake Bella up when we got back to her house, but it couldn't be helped. Bella had allowed me to carry her to the front porch but had insisted that I put her down before going into the house. For some reason she didn't want her dad to see me carrying her like we were newlyweds.

Chief Swan, of course, was a bit shocked when Bella hobbled into the house supported by me. He was so worried that he didn't even seem to notice that I was holding her up; much less that Alice and Jasper had followed us into the house. He brought me a bandage and I was able to wrap Bella's ankle up.

I helped Bella up onto her feet and she seemed very smug about the fact that she could walk. "Good as new."

I laughed at her and went to properly greet her father. "Chief Swan. It's good to see you again."

He looked rather confused at first before taking in the fact that I was shaking his hand. "Oh—wh—It's good to see you to, Edward. Jasper," he nodded his hello to Jasper.

"We'd better go," I said, deciding that it would be better if I kept this first meeting short for Bella's sake. "Bella needs her sleep. She was unconscious in the car. I just wanted to make sure that she could get around without my help."

Bella carefully made her way across the living room to the stairs, her face indignant. "I can handle myself perfectly fine without you," she snapped playfully at me. "I'm going to bed." She started up the stairs.

"Good night, Bella," I said softly.

She turned to look down at me, her face no longer hard. She just smiled, her eyes filled with glowing light. "Good night. See you tomorrow."

"So are you going to tell her tomorrow?" Jasper asked when I dropped him off at his house.

"No," I shook my head.

"Why not, you two are going to be alone together. We're going to my grandma's tomorrow night," he reminded me.

"You mean the harpy?"

"Hey," Jasper said with little enthusiasm.

"What? No offense, but your grandma is insane."

"I know," Jasper sighed. "You haven't been telling Alice that stuff, right? Cause she's got herself worked up into a tizzy about tomorrow."

"As well she should," I said with all seriousness in my voice. "Do you remember when she said that she didn't like the look of me? I was eight!"

"Yeah, well not that grandma's opinion really matters, but I know that Alice would feel better if she had her approval."

"Is Emmett worried?" I asked, nodding towards Rose's car.

"Is he ever worried about anything? Besides, grandma doesn't approve of Rose, she wont care at all about who she's dating."

I laughed. "What was that cute little name your grandma used to call Rose back in junior high?"

"The whore of Babylon," Jasper said, trying not to smile.

"Right, we should start calling her that again," I joked.

"The last time you called Rose that you spent two hours inside your own locker," Jasper reminded me.

I laughed. "We were just dumb kids. If possible, I knew less about dealing with girls then than I do know."

"Speaking of which, why aren't you telling her tomorrow?"

I shrugged. "I have a plan. I want to take her somewhere special. It's not exactly the kind of place that we can go to at night so I'm putting it off for another day. Plus, I need to make sure."

"Edward," Jasper groaned, "I've told you, she's in love with you. I've talked to her about it. I swear that if you don't tell her before break is over then I will, I don't care what you do to me. I am sick of watching you two dance around this. Plus, Alice keeps asking me questions, which I can't answer without breaking my promise to you. I can't keep this up." Jasper looked serious.

"Don't worry," I said. "I've got a plan. I'm going to tell her and everything will be fine."

Jasper headed to his front door. "Just don't screw it up," he said over his shoulder.

"Thanks for your confidence in me," I muttered sarcastically.

* * *

**Don't you love how every thing bad that happens to Bella seems to be Edward's fault. He is a bit of an overreacter. **

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: **No.  


* * *

**Chapter 12**

I didn't pick up the phone to call Bella until nearly one in the afternoon. When she finally answered the phone instead of saying hello she made a very strange squeaking noise.

"That was a weird noise," I commented.

"I wasn't thinking when I got up," Bella mumbled. "I moved a little too fast to grab the phone."

I heaved a sigh. "You didn't hurt your ankle again? I could have waited." She had hurt herself running to get the phone. Brilliant.

"I didn't know that it was going to be you," she said in a frustrated voice.

"Then why else would you have ran to get the phone?" I teased her.

She was silent for a moment before snapping, "What do you want?" at me.

"World peace, a steady economy and an Aston Martin. Why? Are you some kind of genie?" I took a moment to imagine Bella dressed up like I Dream of Genie.

"No," her voice sounded confused. "What was the last one?"

"It's a car Bella," I sighed. She was very easily distracted.

"Why a car?" She sounded incredulous.

"I like shiny things," I rolled my eyes. "Now what was your question?" I asked in an attempt to get back on topic.

"Well you obviously had some motivation in calling me, is it too much to asked what that is?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to do something tonight."

Bella paused for a second. "Sure. I guess it's just us again tonight. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "You're always welcome to come over here, if you want."

I heard a faint rustling in the background. "Why don't you come over here," Bella said suddenly.

"Sure. That sounds like fun." I assumed that her dad was going to be out that night.

"I can cook, I guess. Oh, and I have this movie here that I've been meaning to force you to watch."

"Oh boy," I said in a teasing voice. "When do you want me?"

Bella spluttered for a moment. I heard some more rustling then she asked. "Is seven okay?"

I smiled, knowing that Jasper was picking Alice up at six thirty. "Sounds great, I'll see you then."

"Bye," her voice squeaked into the phone.

I probably stood outside the door for about ten minuets before I got up the nerve to finally knock.

"It's open," I heard Bella yell from the kitchen.

I opened the door and had to take a moment to catch my breath. Bella was wearing the exact same shade of blue as the dress the she had been wearing in my dream. It looked just as lovely on her as I had imagined.

"What are you doing?" I looked over her shoulder. It was more of an excuse for me to smell her hair than anything else.

"Food. I'm making it."

"You are cooking without supervision?" I teased her.

"Yes?" Bella said. Her tone questioned where I was taking this joke.

"You might set something on fire. Look at that knife you're holding. You still have all of your fingers, right?" Laughing, I reached out to grab her wrist. She batted me off.

"Yes, I do Mr. Smarty-pants." She threatened me by pointing the tip of her rather large knife at my stomach. "And for your information I have been cooking since I was twelve and I have yet to have an accident."

I threw my hands up, signaling surrender. Bella smirked at me and went back to her chopping. I went back to my chopping.

"So what are you making, exactly?" I asked her as I seated myself across the counter from her.

"Spaghetti. Nothing fancy. Charlie doesn't keep a lot of stuff in the house for me to work with."

We talked while Bella continued to cook. I managed to get her to agree to go out somewhere with me the next day, but I wouldn't tell her where.

"Great," she muttered. "Are you going to dump my body in the woods?"

"Something like that," I chuckled.

Honestly, I think that Bella's food was better than the restaurants. Plus at Bella's house the staff didn't flirt with me, unfortunately.

Bella talked very enthusiastically for a while, but I was distracted. Since I had decided to tell Bella about how I felt about her my mind was constantly turning itself upside down to find the right words. I wasn't really sure that how I felt about her could be put into a logical sentence. The way I felt about Bella was far from logical.

While I was thinking Bella had trailed off. I realized the sudden quiet in the room and looked up at her. She was leaning on her elbows over the counter. Her eyes regarded me with a confused expression. I smiled and laughed at myself, I guessed that I must have looked pretty lost.

The movie Bella made me watch was French. It had been years since my mom had taught me French at our kitchen table, but I was able to follow it when the main characters were talking slowly enough, but the majority of the movie I was utterly dependent upon the yellow subtitles.

I could tell from Bella's reactions to the movie that she greatly identified herself with the young French girl in the movie. Quiet and imaginative. Compassionate and selfless. These were the things that I associated with the girl sitting next to me. It made me smile to think that I could imagine Bella setting up convoluted traps for people who were rude or writing a love letter to make someone feel like the person who left them still cared.

She was so entranced by the movie that she actually moved off of the couch and onto the floor. It was something that I had seen her do before when she was really getting into something. She would move closer to the screen as if that way she could get closer to the characters themselves.

I momentarily sat in wonder of how entranced Bella could get by something so simple before I realized that her movement had put far too much space between us and I followed her off the couch and onto the floor.

I threw my arm across her shoulder, mentally thanking Emmett for his advice about keeping her close. She sighed and settled back into my chest.

I vaguely wondered why I just didn't say something at that moment. It was as good a time as any, but I was so obstinate about the way that I wanted to do things. All I could think about as I ran my fingers through the ends of her curls was how much I wished that I didn't have to say anything. Couldn't she just see how I felt? Why did I have to say it out loud?

Bella's head snapped up and away from me. For a moment I feared that maybe she wanted me to stop touching her, but then I realized that she must have been affected my something that was happening on the screen.

It was the easily predicted happy ending to the love story. I couldn't understand why Bella was staring at the movie screen as if the main character had suddenly gone around and starting hacking everyone else in the movie to bits with a kitchen knife. But Bella's eyes were staring hard at the screen, her chest moving rapidly as if she was having some difficultly breathing.

"Bella?" I asked. She didn't respond. I waved my hand in front of her eyes. I was beginning to get worried. "Bella, are you in there?"

Her eyes snapped to mine. She looked at me just as confused, just as concerned and just as focused as she had looked at the television screen. I was seconds away from asking Bella what was wrong then something amazing and terrible happened.

Bella leaned forward and kissed me.

It was amazing because it was everything I had ever wanted. Her soft lips just brushed ever so gently against mine. Her cool fingers gently brushed against my cheek. It was a moment that I would want to remember for forever.

It was horrible because a moment later Bella was on her feet, tears in her eyes whispering how sorry she was.

She stepped backwards and tripped over her father's armchair. I reached out to touch her but she pulled away from me. Before my mind could fully wrap around what was happening Bella was running through the kitchen and up the stairs.

I got to my feet, unsteadily, bent upon following her. I stopped when I heard her bedroom door slam. I would have followed her straight up into her room, had she not closed the door.

I stayed rooted to the spot on the floor, going through every possible reason why Bella had run away.

Had she not meant to kiss me? Was it something that she now regretted? No, her pain was out of embarrassment.

I reached out and turned off the TV, silencing the horribly cheerful accordion music that had filled the room.

Was it something that I had done? How could it have been? I was so shocked I hadn't done anything!

It hit me. I tried to imagine what my frozen shock must have looked like to Bella. The fact that I hadn't responded, in any way, must have made her think that I wasn't interested. But how could she possibly think that? She couldn't. How I felt about her was clearly written across my face. Maybe she thought that I had changed my mind? The idea was preposterous, but no matter what the reason was, Bella was upset and I didn't know how to fix it.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. I flipped it open and scrolled to the first number. I knew that it was rude to call, but I had a feeling that Alice would be more than happy for an excuse to leave.

It rang only once before Alice picked it up. "Hello?" she asked, her voice sounding relieved.

"A-Alice," I stuttered. "You need to come back here."

"What? Why? Edward, did something happen to Bella?"

I heard my voice shaking as I said, "I screwed up bad, Alice. You-you need to come back."

"Alright," Alice's voice sounded concerned. "We'll be there in a few minuets."

Waiting for Alice and Jasper was probably the longest fifteen minuets of my life. The entire time I debated with myself whether or not I should go upstairs to try to talk to Bella, but I figured that I was probably the last person on this Earth that she wanted to see.

For brief moments I was sure that I could hear her crying upstairs. I leaned my head against the tile counter. I wasn't sure if I was going to throw up or if I was going to smash my head into the tile until it bled.

The door flew open. I heard small footsteps rush up the stairs behind me. Someone came over and placed a hand on my back. It was Rose.

"Edward," she said quietly, "what happened?"

I stood up, almost gasping for breath. Rose Jasper and Emmett were all standing in Bella's kitchen, staring at me.

"I am the worst person in the world," I said slowly.

"What did you do?" Emmett asked. His voice had become dangerous and protective.

"I didn't do anything. That's the problem." I turned my back on my friends and stalked into the living room, collapsing on the armchair. My head fell into my hands. I could feel how badly my knees were shaking.

Rose knelt on the floor in front of me. She placed on soft hand on the back of my neck. Her attempt to comfort me did nothing. "Edward, what didn't you do?"

"React. I didn't react." I looked up at Rose. Her eyes were confused. "Bella kissed me."

All three of my companions gasped.

"She kissed me and I didn't do anything. I didn't move, I didn't think. All I know is that one moment she was kissing me and the next she was running up the stairs, crying." I felt close to crying myself.

Rose reached out to touch me again but we were both startled to our feet by the sound of stomping on the staircase. Before I had a chance to even move Alice was across the room and smacked me hard across the face.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she half yelled at me. "How could you do that to her?" Jasper came forward and placed his hands on Alice's shoulders in case she attempted to hit me again. Alice sharply jerked him off.

"I have never seen Bella this upset. That girl has been in love with you for as long as she's known you. You'd have to be an idiot not to see that! I thought that you were the kind of person that if you didn't feel the same way about her that you would say something instead of stringing her along until her heart got broken," she nearly shrieked.

I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out. While Alice had gotten the story wrong, she had every reason to be yelling at me.

"I don't want to hear it." Alice put up a hand as if to block out the words that I couldn't seem to form. "I don't even want to look at you right now, Edward. Why are you still here?"

I dropped my head. "I'll leave." I started to walk to the front door. "Alice?" I asked.

Alice's back was to me, her arms crossed over her chest. "Bella and I had plans for tomorrow. There was somewhere I wanted to take her."

"I don't think that Bella wants to go anywhere with you."

I breathed. "I know that Bella is upset, but you can't go making decisions for her," I snapped.

Alice turned to glare at me.

"Look, give me a chance to make this right. I need to explain to her what happened." Alice's eyes narrowed dangerously. I realized that I wasn't going to get anywhere with Alice at the moment. "I'm going to be here to pick Bella up at ten thirty. I would be much obliged if you could make sure that she was dressed, but if not I will be more than happy to take her out of here in her pajamas. It's your choice." I turned my back on Alice. "I know that you are upset for her Alice, but you don't know everything," I said as calmly as I could manage.

"I guess I will see you guys when we get home." I walked straight out the door, letting it bang behind me.

I drove straight home, not even sure that I was headed in the right direction until I saw the lights on in my house. I pulled into the driveway and stopped the car. I sat there for several minuets clutching the steering wheel. Then I did something that I hadn't done since I was eleven. I started crying.

As far as I could tell I had messed everything up beyond repair. For the first time in my life I had found a girl that not only was perfect for me but that I loved more that I had previously thought possible. In one stupid lack of action I had lost everything.

There was a quiet tapping on my door's window. I looked up to see my mother standing outside my car, her eyes worried.

I wiped the moisture out of my eyes and opened the door.

"Edward, what's wrong?" she asked as I climbed out of the car.

"Oh, everything." I slammed the door of the car making my mom jump.

She looked even more worried as she hurriedly followed me up the front steps and into the house. "Darling, what is it?"

I sank down onto one of the couches. "I think I may have lost Bella," I said into my hands.

"Oh Edward." I heard her step towards me.

"Esme," my father's voice came from the top of the stairs. "Esme, can you come up here for a moment?"

"Oh," my mother sighed. She patted my hands, which were still covering my face. "Wait here darling. I'll be back in a moment."

I heard muffled talking from the top of the staircase. I wasn't really sure what was going on until I clearly heard my father say, "Just let me talk to the boy."

A moment later my mother was calling my name. "Edward?" I pulled my hands away from my face to look up at her as she walked down the stairs to me. "Your father would like to see you in his study."

For some reason those words filled me with cold horror. My father's study was the only place in the house that I had never really spent any time in. My mother always said that it was his only personal space in the whole house and we may as well let him have it. The only times I had ever been in the study was when I was in trouble. I hadn't actually been up there since I was about twelve.

I nodded to my mother and headed up the stairs.

The room was exactly how I remembered it. Dark paneled wood. Bookshelves filled with medical texts. Sometimes I wondered if my father was secretly disappointed that I chose not to become a doctor.

My dad leaning against the fireplace, looking down into the cheerily crackling flames. "Sit down son." He motioned with one hand to the leather couch that lined the wall the door was on.

I sat down on the couch and took a deep breath.

"Do you want to tell me what happened tonight?" my father asked gently, his eyes trained on the fire.

I told him as best as I could. I could feel the nausea building again. When I finished my story my dad smiled, chuckling quietly to himself.

"Oh son, it's not as bad as you think. But then again, you've always been prone to overreaction."

"Thanks dad," I muttered sarcastically.

"Well, it's true." He walked away from the fireplace and over to his desk. I heard a tinkling of glass then I looked up to see my father smiling down at me, offering me a glass of scotch.

"How drunk will this get me?" I asked as I took the glass from him.

"Probably not drunk enough," he laughed quietly.

I tossed back the drink. I coughed as the alcohol burned my throat.

"You know, I was waiting for you to mess up with Bella, but I hadn't figured that it would be quite so soon."

I looked up at my father, confused and a little hurt.

He sighed, leaning against his desk. "I let your mother raise you like the little gentleman she wanted because I knew that it would be good for you. But I always knew that you had no real skills in dealing with girls."

"You could have helped me," I muttered angrily.

"I could have, but I wanted you to learn on your own. We learn from our mistakes, Edward. We learn what not to do. We learn what not to say. We learn how to overcome them. And most of all we learn that they are not the end of the world. You will get past this and before you know it everything will be fine."

I half sighed half laughed. "Are you sure about that?"

"Edward, your mother has a lot of pretty stories about when we were young. It all sounds perfect because she never mentions the times that I screwed things up. No one ever does. Nobody likes to talk about the stupid things that they wish they hadn't said or done, mostly because they really don't matter in the overall scheme of things. If you love Bella like your mother thinks you do, like I think you do, then this little slip up wont matter after you apologize and explain to her how you really feel."

I rolled the empty crystal glass back and forth in my palms. "You really couldn't have mentioned this earlier?"

"Would it have helped?" He shrugged. "Your mother raised you with a sense of planning ahead and knowing how you wanted things to work out. Planning is fine, but you need to learn that things rarely go the way you've planned. They may still go the way you want them to, but it will never be quite the way you thought it would be. I was waiting for you to figure that one out on your own."

"That still doesn't explain why you never talked to me about girls."

He smiled wryly. "That was partially my own foolishness. I didn't want to pressure you, make you think that I expected you to be dating or whatever. My father pushed me into it and that attributed to many of the times that I screwed up with your mother. I've been very proud watching you the last week. You have handled this remarkably well. You are an intelligent boy, Edward. I knew that you could work it out."

"I still screwed up."

"Yes you did, but it's not as bad as you think. You were shocked and that is understandable. Bella is an intelligent girl. She will listen to you, eventually. But the one thing I have seen you stumble on over and over again is making it clear to her how you feel."

"What?" I said, baffled. "How can I make it anymore clear to her? Purpose?"

Dad laughed. "Let me tell you something son. Women read things differently than we do. They way we see and hear things is different. While you think that you are being straightforward about how you feel Bella may not see it the same way. Chances are that, up until tonight, she was confused about how you felt. You've never actually said how you feel and you've never done anything to show her, so she may still think that you wanted this relationship to be nothing more that platonic."

I tried to wrap my head around how Bella could see things that way. Then I thought about how Alice saw us. Jasper said that Alice was always asking questions about me and how I felt about Bella. She saw me with Bella all of the time and I had a feeling that Bella talked to her about everything. Was it possible that my emotions, that I had thought were so blunt, were actually cryptic?

"So how am I supposed to make this right?"

"Are you going to see Bella again?"

I nodded. "I'm taking her hiking up the mountain tomorrow."

"You're going to have to show her how you feel about her."

"Show her?"

"Yes. She won't want to hear any explanations. She will be too upset. You are going to have to show her."

"How do I do that?"

Dad smiled. "If you can't figure that one out on your own, son, than I really did something wrong. Go to bed." He nodded towards the door. "You will figure everything out and by this time tomorrow you will have Bella in your arms at last."

As I walked to my room I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket to turn it off. I had a text message from Jasper.

_I convinced Alice to let you have your way. You better not screw this up. You owe me big time._

I sighed to myself and reevaluated my plans for tomorrow.

* * *

**Ooops**

**Thanks for reading! :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** From beginning to end, I don't own these characters.

* * *

**Chapter 13**

I was wrong the night before when I had thought that waiting for Alice and Jasper had been the longest time of my life. Waiting for Bella to come out of her house was even more nerve-wracking.

Jasper had called me to tell me that Alice had successfully gotten Bella up and now they were on the road to Seattle. Sighing heavily I gave Jasper permission to tell Alice everything, just so long as she didn't call Bella until I was through talking to her. I didn't want Alice to be mad at me anymore.

I parked in front of Bella's house about ten minuets early. I waited in the car for as long as I could.

At ten thirty I began to debate with myself whether I should go and knock on the door. I had seen Bella look out the window five minuets earlier; she knew I was there. I decided just to wait for her to come out on her own.

I did, however, get out of the car and lean on it, waiting for Bella. I had a feeling that if I stayed in it too long I would chicken out and just leave.

Five minuets later Bella came out of the house. This was not the Bella that I had seen in the past week, the excited and happy girl who was obviously dressed by Alice. Today Bella had her hair pulled back in her usual ponytail. She was wearing her same old pair of jeans and a read t-shirt with a picture of a girl wearing glasses on it that said, 'reading is sexy.' Had it been another occasion I may have laughed.

I tried to smile at Bella, but she just looked at me blankly then looked at her shoes.

I couldn't stop my wince. She looked so sad. I was mad that I was the reason she was so upset.

I opened the door for her and Bella walked past me as if I wasn't there. She spent the entire car ride trying to pretend that she was somewhere else. She never said anything, just stared out the window.

Several times I almost said something, unable to bear the sadness that was hanging around Bella. But, I had my plan and I was going to stick to it. If Bella wanted to talk then I would, but If she remained quiet then I had a better chance of this working out the way I wanted it to.

Of course, if I listened to what my father said then I already knew that it wouldn't work out exactly the way I planned. But hopefully it would be close enough.

As Bella and I walked up the familiar trail I began to re-think my earlier plan. Maybe by saying nothing I was putting unnecessary distance between us. Maybe I was only making things worse.

Occasionally I would gesture to something in an attempt to bring Bella's attention to whatever it was. She would look at it blankly and my heart would sink. An hour of unbearable silence and another hour still to go. Maybe I should have just talked to her in the car.

The first time I had stumbled across my little path through the woods I had been careful enough to mark it. Bella leaned against the wooden guardrail that prevented people from falling down the steep side of the mountain while I searched for the small pile of rocks that I had wedged under some tree routes.

Once the main path was clear of other people I walked out into the forest, immediately feeling better. I turned to look at Bella who was staring at me like I was crazy. I smiled at her and beckoned her forward with my hand.

For a brief moment I hoped that she would take my hand as she walked out onto the trail, but she ignored it, focusing more on where the unclear path lead.

My hands twitched and ached to hold Bella's. As we talked through the more treacherous woods I waited for Bella to trip just so I could touch her for a brief moment. Bella seemed to be waiting to trip to, but instead of wanting me to catch her she seemed determined not to fall.

Again I began fighting with myself. I had come up with about ten reasons why Bella should hate me when I remembered my dad saying how I always overreacted.

I looked up to see the large fallen tree that told me just how close we were to the clearing. Bella looked confused and tired.

When we got to the edge of the clearing Bella no longer looked confused. She gasped and rushed out into the patch of purple flowers that had filled the open area. We were high enough that we had gotten past the fog and Bella was able to look up and see the sunlight steaming down on her. The vision was almost the exact opposite of the dream that I had had, but that didn't make it any less beautiful.

Bella closed her eyes and tilted her face towards the sunlight. I heard her breath deeply and she smiled. Her face looked relaxed and happy, like everything that had happened hadn't.

I took a deep breath myself, unsure of what I was about to do, and walked out into the flowers. My skin prickled at the sunlight hit it.

I approached Bella and her eyes fluttered open. She was startled by just how close I was and I was momentarily concerned that she would fall over, but she managed to right herself.

I was terrified, but I knew what I had to do. Summoning every once of courage that I possessed I pulled Bella into me and kissed her.

She stood there for a moment, obviously just as startled as I had been the night before. But where Bella ran from my lack of reaction I kissed her harder, willing her to react in some way.

I got my wish when she suddenly fisted her hands into my hair, pulling me down to her. I snaked my arms around Bella's waist, the way I had held her in the alley in Port Angels. Then I pulled her closer. I felt like I couldn't ever get her close enough to me.

I begged her mouth to open under mine and she complied. This moment was so perfect that I had forgotten about all of the things that I still needed to say to her. Nothing mattered. Bella was in my arms. I was kissing her and, more importantly, she was kissing me back.

I felt her go limp in my arms but luckily I managed to tighten my grasp on her before she slid away from me. She continued to kiss me fiercely as I gently lowered us to the ground. I didn't want to risk either of us actually falling.

There we were in the middle of the woods. We clung to each other like the world was about to end. We knelt there, may hands trailing up and down Bella's back, Bella's hands still fisted in my hair. I wanted to keep us there forever, locked in that perfect moment, but I knew that there was still just too much to be said.

I tried to back away in order to regain some kind of composure. Bella wasn't having any of that. As I moved to sit back on my legs Bella moved forward with me, straddling my hips.

For a moment any thoughts of logical conversations flew away. I wrapped an arm around Bella's waist to pull her closer and twisted my other hand into her hair, pulling out the elastic band that held it in place and allowing it to fall across her shoulders.

I pulled her down closer. I couldn't get her close enough. I momentarily worried that I was being far too forceful with her, but then I remembered that Bella was the one sitting on top of me and at the moment she probably had more control over the situation than I did. I let it got and allowed myself to be content where I was.

"Bella," I tried to say as she kissed me. "Do you—think we could—talk?"

Bella pulled away from me and looked down at me. She looked so beautiful in that moment, her hair disheveled, her eyes wild.

"No," she shook her head. I practically forgot what I was going to say when she pulled me to her again in another kiss.

After a minuet I pushed her back, needing to talk. "Why?"

"Because," Bella's voice shook, "if we stop then you are not going to let me kiss you anymore."

This didn't make sense. Didn't she understand? Did she think that I was just throwing her a bone? One look in her eyes told me that this was what she thought.

I couldn't help but smiled to myself. I guess dad doesn't know everything about girls either.

I pulled her down to me again. She gripped onto me tightly. I was thankful for this as I gently tipped her backwards into the grass. Bella clung to my shoulders, trying to pull me with her but I placed either hand on her shoulders and pushed myself away from her. By holding her down I also managed to prevent her from trying to kiss me again.

I smiled down at her, trying to let her know that everything was going to be okay. "How about if we talk and I promise to let you kiss me again later?"

I could see the thoughts going through Bella's mind. Maybe now my statement would make sense to her. Or not.

She nodded sadly and I sat back, allowing her to sit up in the grass.

I tried to make eye contact with her, but Bella kept her eyes trained on the purple flowers that were growing all around us. She twisted one back and forth between her fingers.

I sighed. "Bella, I am so sorry about last night."

"You don't have to be," she mumbled so quietly that I almost couldn't hear her. "It was all my fault."

"No, Bella, don't you understand?" I grabbed her shoulders. She reluctantly met my eyes. "It was my fault."

She looked at me like I was placating her. "No, I'm pretty sure that was all me."

I felt bad. How could she blame herself for this? "No, Bella let me explain. You have to see that—you startled me last night! I was not expecting you to do that. And I was so shocked that—I froze. I'm sorry," I pleaded with her.

"It was a legitimate reaction, Edward." She shrugged my hands off of her shoulders. "If someone that I didn't have those kinds of feeling about tried to kiss me—"

"What?" I had to stop her. "You think that I don't have feelings for you?" Really, thinking that I may have been confused about my feelings or changed them is one thing, but after all of this, after what I just said, could she really still think that I didn't love her?

"We're just _friends_, Edward. You've said so yourself a million times."

I swore, closing my eyes. Then I started laughing. Of course, my brilliant plan to make Bella feel comfortable around me by becoming her friend had backfired. I opened my eyes and looked up at the sky, still laughing. "Oh my god."

"What?" Bella sounded confused.

I looked back at her and smiled. "Nothing. I'm just laughing at myself."

"Care to fill me in on the joke?"

"We seem to be misinterpreting each other Bella. Although how you managed to convince yourself that I didn't have feelings for you is mindboggling. In the last week I must have said it more times than I can count. I felt like I was screaming it at you. And you honestly had no idea?"

"You have feelings for me? More than platonic feelings? Since when?" She looked at me like I was insane. She still didn't believe me.

"Since the first time you snapped at me for being rude to you in class." I smiled as I brought back the memory of our first interaction. "You were the first girl besides Rose who didn't put up with my crap. It shocked me, and I liked it. It shocked me _that_ I liked it."

"It didn't stop you from being a jerk," she muttered.

"Of course it didn't. It meant that I had to put my guard up even more. I told you, I wanted you to be different, but I couldn't convince myself that you were. I was just waiting for you to turn into one of those horrible shallow girls. If I let myself like you then I would end up worse off than ever."

"But I wasn't like the other girls," she lead me.

"No, you weren't. Every time I saw you you became more and more frustrating. Smarter, kinder, sweeter. You were tearing my life apart and part of me hated you for that. You have to understand, Bella, before you came along I had never so much as glanced at another girl. You became all that I could think about. And then that night at the movies." I remembered the way that Bella had looked in the glow of the theater. "The very fact that you were there made me want you. I'd never wanted anyone before. It's very confusing the first time around."

"Tell me about it," she mumbled. "Especially when the person that you want is being a distant jerk."

I smiled and reached up to touch Bella's hair. My fingertips trailed down the side of her face and I could not stop myself from cupping her jaw.

"I told you that I was sorry for that," I said quietly.

She leaned her cheek into my hand. "I know."

I ran my thumb across her delicate cheekbone. "You are so beautiful," I commented, relieved that I could finally say it out loud.

Bella's face turned scarlet.

"Even more so when you do that." I sighed again. The need to apologize had returned. "I am so sorry for making you upset last night. I felt like a complete ass."

"Yes you were," she said playfully.

I laughed. "So now do you believe that I have feelings for you?"

"No," Bella shook her head. "Now I'm convinced that I am asleep. I have to be dreaming this."

I slid my hand around to the back of her head and leaned into her. "Well, then I guess it's my job to awaken the fair princess."

I kissed her gently, much closer to the way that she had kissed me the night before.

"Are you awake yet?" I whispered against her lips.

"No," Bella giggled.

She fisted her hands into my hair again and pulled me down onto her. She fell back into the grass, pulling me down on top of her.

We separated, both laughing. "God I love you," I said without thinking. It just seemed like such a natural thing to say at that moment,

"What?" Bella's eyes bulged out of her head.

I leaned down closer to her. "I love you," I repeated hovering my lips just inches away from her.

"Since when?" Bella asked in a shaky voice.

"Since that night first night at my apartment. You said my name in your sleep."

Bella turned red. Her face looked a little upset.

"You had to pick one of the more embarrassing moments of my life?" she asked.

I smiled down at her, thinking about how silly she was. "It was the one of the best moments of my life." I began stroking the side of her face again. "Hearing you say my name, knowing that you were dreaming about me, it forced me to admit that I had feelings for you. If you hadn't I may have gone on ignoring how I felt."

"Well, we couldn't have that, now could we?" Bella giggled giggled.

"Well, just so you don't feel left out, I love you to," she said plainly, as if it was some boring fact.

I rolled my eyes at her lack of emotion while inside my heart was doing somersaults from her words. "Glad to hear it."

She smiled up at me and once more pulled me down into a passionate kiss.

The End

* * *

**So I may do an epilouge, but I don't know whether to do it from Edward's or Bella's POV. Thoughts? I have about eight other stories that I am currently working on, so if I do decide to write one it may take a little while **

**I hope you enjoyed my little story and hopefully I will have something new to put up soon.  
**

**Thanks for reading! :)**


End file.
